Who Made That Dirty Sound?

Remembering the Ropers!

2012-02-08T09:21:00.000-08:00

We miss you!

AVATARI

2010-11-12T17:50:00.000-08:00

Wow what a grate movie I have just saw! It's called Avatari and it's about an ancient race of Smurfs who like to shoot arrows and ride dinosaurs! What an exciting adventure this was! First a young handicapped boy name Jake Soolies went to space to meet some astronots. But then he went to sleep and dreamed he was a Smurf with long hairs on his head like Brett Michael of Posions fame. But his dream turned out to be a nightmare after all! when a group of mad army men with robot friends came to break some trees! Why will they do this! The trees looked very nice, and the had brite spaghetti hanging on them, but the army men wanted to dig a hole so the spaghetti trees had to be killed.

Sometimes Jake woke up and ate eggs with the sciencetists but mainly he slept and had dreams about Avatari, the planet where the Smurfs lived! In one dream that gave me a randy sensation on my secret part, Jake Soolies made sex with a Smurfette! I wondered why he would want to make a Smurfette do sex on him, but then one later time I saw that Smurfettes knockers when her necklace flew up, and then I wanted to make sex with her too! I would like to kiss her bluish skin and feel her pointy ears rubbing on my neck piece as we rolled in the glowing piles of clovers that cover the floor on Avatari! Soon I would couple with her and we would be one big blue thing.

Jake also defeated the Army men with some helps from the other Smurfs. So the Army men felt sad and left without ever digging their hole, even though they did break the biggest tree in the world! But Jake stayed there, and some tiny jelly fish made him an honorary Smurf so he could stay on Avatari and keep haveing odd relations with his lady friend! What a randy movie! It left me feeling so surprised...I wanted to go to sleep like Jake Soolies and wake up in Avatari under a spaghetti tree with a Smurfette! Lickily for me my girlfriend Sandra came over and so I made her out on a blue shirt, and a blue hat, and a blue pants, and I pretended I couldn't walk and we made hot sweat covered whoopie on my ottoman!

I love Avatari so much I bought it on DVD, and BlueRays DVD, and also I am ordeing some copies of the Three-Disc Extended Collector's Edition. I hope they will make a Five-Disc Extended Collector's Prequel edition!

*Update: My friend who works at Best Buys©® told me that George Lucas came in today and bought some computers so they can make another Avatair Movie!!

**Another Update: Sandra brought a disguise of an Avatarish Smurfette and a wheelchair for our date on Tuesday! We went to a bar, drank alcoholic beer then came home where we ate a very sensual meal of rice , chicken pieces, and garlic loaf before she rolled me to my bedroom where we pretended to be on our own adult movie. I posted a few picture here, but they said I could only put the one from the bar!

Buy a copy of a Three-Disc Extended Collector's Edition of Avatars NOW!!!

Stand up to Gonorrhea!

2010-11-09T23:36:00.001-08:00

Thanks to all of you who came out to the First Annual "Andy Cohen & Families Against Gonorrhea BBQ and Sack Race". I'd like to personally apologize for the lack of side dishes - specifically the potato salad that Todd© and his new "girlfriend" promised to bring. (they were probably too busy sucking face and giving each other foot massages to come out and help us fight gonorrhea!) I'd also like to take a moment to apologize for the chaos that ensued when the Sheriff's Department arrived shut down the festivities early. I didn't realize the terms of my probation prohibited me from being less than 50 feet from alcoholic beverages or children under the age of consent. And I still feel that there was no need for the officers to draw their weapons!

And finally, I'd like to make a special apology to all of the parents for the "Eff Gonorrhea!" t-shirts I handed out on Saturday. I was very explicit with my printer that the shirts were to read "Don't Eff Gonorrhea!". I apologize for the mixed message this most certainly must have sent to your children.

This years event was an unprecedented hit! We raised nearly $135 to help combat this silent killer! Thanks for making it a success! Don't forget to collect that pledge money!

Anyhow, next years "Andy Cohen & Families Against Gonorrhea BBQ and Sack Race!" is already being planned and is scheduled for Saturday November 5, 2011. So get ready for a great time of food, fun, and fellowship!

Coaled Storage by Todd of Todd Reviews©

2010-10-30T19:08:00.000-07:00

Wow! What a terrifying movie i have just seen! it was a docudrama called Coaled Storage and it is also a scary romantic comedy about Clyve Mercer, a Greek Fishermen who, lives in Tennessees, his girlfriends Rosalee I and II and his friend Luther. As i watched this movie I felt very scared that i would someday find myself in the same shoes as Rosalee I, who was the lady who was visiting Clyves house before Luther invited her over for the sleepover that turned out so bad! If you ever see this movie make sure you sit on a trashbag or at least have someone with you, or you might acsidentally go weewee on your couch out of scaredness like I did! Now guess what? I have to pay Blackman Moreing Corporation of North America $75 just to make it smell like a regular couch again! Also I spilled some milk on it one time and it smelled like old cheese for a long time! See Coaled Storage Today!

Goodbye Pearl.

2010-08-07T08:27:00.000-07:00

We are sad to announce that our long time cleaning lady, and part time model Pearl has left Who Made That Dirty Sound to pursue a career cleaning stuff up in Heaven... we hope. Always there with a hateful diatribe or a harsh word for the staff, Pearl was very near and dear to our hearts. The world won't be the same without you Pearl. May your Judgment be swift and merciful.

Ho's Before Bro's

2010-08-07T08:05:00.000-07:00

I know this ain't no "food review" per say, but I gotta get this one off my chest - I don't know who the hell came up this "Bro's before Ho's" horsesh*t, but you can bet your asshole he ain't never had no woman bed down with him. Let me tell you something "Bro", if you think I'm gonna choose a bunch of hairy dudes sitting around talking about getting some tail over going home with a sweet little ho of my own and actually getting me some, well... you bout as stupid as you look. You "Bro's" can sit around and sniff each others farts all night for all I care, as for me, I'm gonna be going home with a real nice, supple piece of a and giving her what her daddy never gave her, if you take my meaning. So eat that "Bros", you bunch of limp-wristed Elton John wannabe's.

Caribbean Drug Kingpin escapes only to be caught in even more elaborate disguise.

2010-07-26T21:33:00.000-07:00

Caribbean drug kingpin Christopher "Dudus" Coke, escaped federal custody early Monday morning in Tampa, Florida only to be caught several hours later in West Palm Beach dressed in an even more elaborate disguise than the cross dressing inspired outfit he was wearing during his initial arrest late last June. An agent speaking to WMTDS east coast bureau chief Ted Randleman under the promise of anonymity said that "Dudus" was found at a public playground dressed in an pair of OshKoshB'Gosh® overalls, a child's hat from Baby Gap®.

"When I first saw him he reminded me of that little midget guy from that Wayan's brothers movie. Then I thought maybe he was one of those people that ages real fast or something." said Sandra Valdez of Tallahassee, adding "It's just scary to think that a drug lord was on the jungle gym with my son. I mean what is this world coming to when my own kid can't be safe from these kinds of a scumsbags?"

"Dudus" was returned to Tampa where he is awaiting trial. When he's not riding the "A-train", he enjoys playing shuffle board and breaking rule #2. Look it up.

Please Pray For Todd's Speedy Recovery. Read On...Won't You?

2010-07-26T08:43:00.000-07:00

We are sad to announce that our Editor and Head Writer Todd is currently in a stress induced coma, but resting well at the St. Joseph Celebrity Hospital in North Hollywood. Some of you may have noticed a lack of posting for the past several months, now you know why. We had hoped to keep Todd's condition under wraps, but after an emergency board meeting on Friday night at the temporary whomadethatdirtysound.com offices in Burbank, it was determined that, in the interest of full disclosure to our shareholders, the information could no longer be suppressed. We are asking all shareholders not to panic and sell, as we believe a miracle will be seen in the next 7 to 10 days.

We are holding a prayer vigil starting this Friday at the First Unitarian Church of the Holy Word in Fresno. The prayer vigil will lead up to a special service Saturday night where we believe that we will see Todd miraculously restored before your very eyes. St. Edward's Hospital has agreed to allow us to bring Todd's flaccid, vegetable-like body to the church for the miracle based service, featuring a touching rendition of "Piano Man'" by our very own Darryl T. Evans, and a premature eulogy by Andy Stormcrow Cohen. Tickets for the "Step Away From The Light And Come Back To Us Todd" - 2010 Miracle Service are on sale at participating Tom Thumb Grocery Outlets. Please join us for this special time of prayer and fellowship. Cookies and fruit punch will be served in the fellowship hall following the service. Selah.

2012: Then End of Times!

2010-03-29T09:30:00.000-07:00

Wow! I just found out we only have two years left to live. WTD?! I rented the movie 2012s: Noah's Revenge this week from the popular dvd club Netflix this week! In this movie was Joan Cusacks, Manda Peets, Samuel Glover, and a poodle. What an eye opening movie this was. Apparently the Mayas got tired of making calendars and stopped at 2012, so the world is going to crack up and turn into water in two years. Good thing I saw this movie. I've started building my own ark so I wont have to fly to China and sneak onto the ones over there! If You didn't see 2012s yet. You should call Netflix and have it sent to you so you know what to expect. I watched it with my lady friend Sandra (Who also recently won the Best Buns Competition on our spring break related trip to Cleveland.) After words I loaned the disc WMTDS food critic Darryl T. Evans so he could watch it with his girlfriend Terry and her three children Jaden (10), Lexi (6), and Tanqueray (4). After words Darryl had a Q&A to help the kids deal with what they had saw. He recorded it and am posting the transcript here for you to share with you childrens too also:

Darryl: Okay kids, that's what we got to look forward to. Ya'll got you some questions?

Lexi: Why did all those people die Mr.Darryl?

Darryl: They died because they didn't have themselves a boat, and because they was athiests.

Jaden: We don't have a boat Mr.Darryl, are we gonna die too?

Darryl: I must admit, some of us in this room is gonna die, but I'm building a boat that will hold three or four of us.

Lexi: Who gets to go on the boat?

Darryl: Well your mother and I are in for sure...so that leaves room for one of you and maybe Tanqueray if he doesn't get fat like the two of you.

Lexi: Can't you just build a bigger boat.

Darryl: Well I could Lexi, if I was made of money. And plus it's a sh*tload of work building a boat and I still have to work over at the website to put food in your ungrateful little mouths.

Jaden: Well I'm gonna build my own boat and take Mommy and Lexi and Bubba and my real Daddy too.

Terri: Oh Jaden...

Darryl: Don't make me laugh Jaden. You can't even finish that video game your momma spent all of her tip money to get you for your birthday. You expect us to believe that you gonna finish a boat. (Laughing) Hell you and your boat'd sink faster than a fat lady tied to an engine block.

Jaden: I will build a boat! And it'll be bigger and better than your stupid boat. You'll see.

Terri: Jaden! Don't you talk to mama's boyfriend like that. I'm sorry Darryl. I knew I should've left him with his step daddy. The apple don't fall too far from the tree.

Darryl: You got that right baby. Jaden you just got yourself a demerit. And that puts you square in last place boy. You better nut up and shut up if you want on my ark boy.

Lexi: Mr. Darryl, can I bring Tabatha with me?

Darryl: Hell no we ain't bringing no dolls on my boat. Besides, you ain't gonna have time for playing make believe when the sh*t hits the fan baby.

Jaden: I hate you!

Darryl: Good, then the feeling is mutual. Oh, and that's another demerit. Keep it up and you'll be swimming with the heathens.

Terri: Jaden, apologize to Darryl right now or I'm calling your step daddy to come get you.

Jaden: I'm sorry.

Darryl: I'll bet you are - I'll bet you're real sorry-like. Alright, are we done here? I need to get your momma into the bedsack before I get too tired.

Terri: Darryl you are a naughty naughty boy.

Darryl: Baby, you ain't seen nothing yet. I borrowed my sister's credit card and ordered us a whole mess a' goodies off one of them online sex stores. You in for the best 2 month anniversary you ever did have.

The WMTDS censors won't allow us to post the rest of the transcript oh here due to sexually explicit materials.

Rent 2012's today and start beginning to get ready for the end of the worlds. Thumb's up!

"Win A Date With Todd" Canceled Due to FCC ruling.

2010-02-01T23:05:00.000-08:00

Dear all fans. We are sorry to announce that the "Win A Date With Todd" e-raffle has been canceled due to an FCC ruling handed down this morning. An injunction filed in Louisiana's 5th circuit court of appeals last Friday on behalf of the FCC, has barred WMTDS from proceeding with plans to allow one lucky fan a night of hot passion with Todd of Todd's Reviews fame.

The winner was to be flown to Corpus Christi, where a private boat (chartered by WMTDS of North America LLC.) would then shuttle the winner and Todd into international waters for a sexually charged rendezvous after a 3 star meal including veal, focaccia loafs, and your choice of red or pink wine. Our attorneys are working with the State Dept. to find terms we can all agree with, they assure us that the contest will be allowed to go ahead very soon. We're doing everything we can. We'll keep you posted.

Hey look...another new post from Darryl right down there!

IHOP...it ain't no Denny's.

2010-02-01T22:50:00.000-08:00

I just went and ate at an ihop for the first time last night, and let me tell you one thing. IHOP ain't no Denny's! I asked for the Grand Slam and the waitress laughed so hard the broke wind. I decided after my experience to go on ahead and write me a one man play called "F**K IHOP!" Here's a sample from the first act.

Now you gotta picture this waitress, she looked like she just ate her own weight in pig scraps and washed it down with bacon grease. She had to butter her thighs to get into her XXXXL stretch pants. And her rear looked like a topographical map of the surface of the moon. You get what I'm saying...she was a fat pig. Anyhow...here's you a taste of "F**K IHOP!" by Darryl T. Evans

Act 1 Scene 2

Waitress: Welcome to the ihop I'm Sandra. What can I get for you tonight?
Me: I'll just have me a Grand Slam with a side of summer sausage and some extra grits.
Waitress: (Laughing like a morbidly obese hyena) We don't have no Grand Slam here.
Me: Well then, uh, I guess make it a Moon Over My Hammy.
Waitress: (Trying to stop laughing like a morbidly obese hyena) Ain't got that neither.
Me: Well then what the hell do you have?
Waitress: (Finally done laughing, but big blubbery gut still shaking) We got the Rooty Tooty Fresh N' Fruity and the Super Rooty Tooty Fresh N' Fruity.
Me: The what?
Waitress: The Rooty Tooty Fresh N' Fruity.
Me: What in the name of all that is good in the world is that?
Waitress: Well it comes with two pancakes with your choice of strawberry, apple-cinnamon or blueberry fruit jelly and whipping cream. Now the Super Rooty Tooty Fresh 'N Fruity also has eggs, bacon, sausage and hash browns.
Me: I don't know what you just said to me, but I'm about to haul my ass outta this sh*t-hole. I saw a dead raccoon on the side of the road about a mile back, I think I'll go eat that instead of the bunk you're peddling here.
Waitress: Good, get on outta here 'fore I call the law on you and your foul mouth.
Me: My mouth would only be foul if I shoved your feces-ridden tripe into it.

Well I think you get the general idea. The script is only about half done at the moment, but I'm planning on debuting it this spring. So check back for ticket information and what not.

Oh yeah...and F**K YOU IHOP!

Terminator Salvations

2009-12-06T18:00:00.000-08:00

Wow what a grate movie, I just watched. It was Terminator Salvations IV starring Christian Bales of Batman fame. Move over The Dark Knight, you just got punked by John Connors. I couldn't believe my eyes as I watched this great Blu-ray release. What high definition!!!!! First there is a war and then there is another war right after that. All in HIGH DEFINITIONS!!!!!!!!!!!! I thin k if you liked enjoying TERminAtors number 1, number II, but not number three.......YOU WILL love This one!! Go John Connors. I did think there was going to be Linda Hamilton's knockers in this one, but instead there were no knockers at all. D you Director McG. D you to H!! I told my lady friend Tamara to get ready for sexual heat, but instead there was just robots and bloody murder. I had to rent a on-demand dirty movie to get Tamara in the mood for love. And that didn't work either. She said she had already seen Robot Shankers 12 and that it sucked. Thanks a lot Comcasts Television Entertainnment. YOu blew my sure thing straight to H. Can I have my 9.95 dollars back already. Well Tamara left and I didn't get to third base, but I saw a real good robot movie and then watched Terminator Salvations IV too, so lose-win-win. But Tamara is coming over Thursday so maybe I'll get to got to Third Base after all. I hope must see TV is dirty this week. See Terminator Salvations IV!! By a Blu-ray of it too. It's so good it only is missing some knockers! I'll be back.

Strawberry flavored sex panties.

2009-11-25T22:20:00.000-08:00

Last night my girlfriend Sandra come home and says "I got something you can review on that there web space of yours." I said "What in the hell are you talking about?" She says "Lookie here." and then she proceeds to take down her work britches and shows me some kind of fruit roll up lookin' of panties she has on. She says " These here is eatable underpanties, the box says they's Strawberry flavored." So I says "Well tear me off a bite". She tears off a piece and hands it too me and let me tell you, I ain't never had no strawberry that tasted like that. I don't know what they's made of but I told her, I says "Them thing's is gone rotten, you need to get your money back asap!" She run outta the room a cryin' but I didn't chase her down. I done learned the hard way to let a woman cry that sh*t out. And anyhow I was right in the middle of a Grey's Anatomy I Tivoed. I got eyes for that ol' Kathrin Heigl and that oriental gal ain't to hard to look on either. My advice, avoid flavored panties.

Twilight: New Moon

2009-11-21T16:15:00.001-08:00

I saw Twilight New Moon last night. It was awesome. The theater was filled beautiful young ladies. They were all so excited and talkative. I offered to buy one group pop corn and soda if they let me sit with them. They said YES!! I've never felt so alive.

Star Traks IV; The Wrathe Kahn + Special Blu-ray edition.

2009-11-21T15:50:00.001-08:00

Hey you guys! It's been a while since I wroet a review. I almost forgot how! Well this night I'm reviewing the great film by the late Tim Burton...Star Traks IV; The Wrathe Kahn. The first thing I saw on this movie was a preview of the movie Star Traks 1. The early years. Did you know Captain Kirks was a juvinile deelinkwint? ME EITHER! But he was. He even drove a car off a cliff like Selma and Louise! WOW! what an asshole! So then they showed anuther preview for Star Traks the TV show version. You could see all the details in hi res def! Blu ray is the only way now! You should throw your old TVS into the trash can and go Blu!

The movie The Wrathe Kahn focuses on a old man with long hair and big boobies. He caused me to have strange feelings when he leaned over the ships console and one of his knockers popped out from his shirt vest. How didn't he have a bra on? Tune in Tokyo! I am going to get my girlfriend Sheila a grey haired wig for this weekend.

The movie was real good except for the confusing parts. There is a worm that like to hide in peoples ears and make them act up. And there are Two space ships and a man with elf ears who is not very friendlie. I don't know how it ended because my sister called to tell me the familys plans for Thanks Day, and Star Traks IV; The Wrathe Kahn ended during that. But I bet it was good. I have to bring a side for Thanks Day so I'm thinking about some creamy caseroles. I found an recipe on www.rachelrays.coms which looks pretty creamy. I would like to cook a meal with Rachel Rays in her warm kitchen. Our necks would come close as we prepared the clippings and soon our sweat droplets would become one as we made hot passion on the counter-tops. I think the casserole will be pleasing, but I will leave out the chicken. Chicken meat is too expensive , plus my cousin Larry is a Vegen. They don't eat animal meats or bird parts.

Well I hope you all have a good Thanks Day. If you get a chance wrent Star Traks IV; The Wrathe Kahn and see it. It's so good!

WTF?! You call that a Ham Sandwich?

2009-11-21T15:36:00.000-08:00

I don't know what you interweb people think qualifies as a Ham Sandwich but apparently those p***ies at A*by's think three slices of Ham and a slice of Cheese served on some crusty white bread is all it takes. Not where I come from brother. You'd get your ass kicked trying to peddle that sh*t in my neck of the woods. I know city folk don't have the balls to eat pork anymore, but I ain't city folk. So if you see me coming through your doors and you have a Ham Sandwich on your menu, you'd better bring it. Or I'll leave a loaf on the hood of your managers car like I did last night at A*by's. I wish I could have seen her face when she saw my brown glory. But unfortunately I was at T*co B*ll refilling my bowels.

It's lonely up here.

2009-09-26T19:42:00.000-07:00

Seriously.

Put A Stake in Her...She's Done!

2009-09-21T09:45:00.000-07:00

Okay, enough with the vampire movies already and the once-alluring Megan Fox as well. One too many magazine covers declaring her the new 'bad girl' and an equally ridiculous number of interviews talking about what a nympho she is. What a joke. Everyone in Hollywood is dark and edgy and they shit gold and screw like rabbits. Please. MF's a bad girl just like Avril Lavigne used to be.

>>Check out Avril's new clothing line now available at Kohl's! <<
Don't get me wrong MF is a knockout, but once the mouth opens and the noise begins, it all melts away. To make matters worse, her 'acting' voice sounds like some 1940's starlet trying to seduce Clark Gable, that or she just really likes baby talk.

As for the movie, 'Jennifer's Body' looks like a Sci-Fi original mated with Twilight and some low-level pseudo-porn. The dialogue is so forced and contrived that it makes me wonder if Diablo Cody doesn't have a 13 year old ghost writer. It's 'Juno' with fangs. The only draw is all the little boys and girls hoping to get a gander at MF doing what she does best, acting slutty. And I stress the word 'acting'. I mean, it's obvious that she's a slut, but her hyper-sexuality is such a put on. That being said, she's more than welcome to drop by and prove me wrong...but no talky talky.

P.S. Here's an unofficial and incomplete list of vampire movies from last year to next:

Beyond the Rave (2008)
Blood on the Highway (2008)
The Kiss (2008)
L.A. Gothic (2008)
Let the Right One In (2008)
Lost Boys: The Tribe (2008-DVD only)
Out of the Night (2008)
True Blood (2008-HBO series)
Twilight (2008)
Zen in the Art of Slaying Vampires (2008)

The Bleeding (2009)
Blood: The Last Vampire (2009)
Castlevania (2009)
The Coffin (2009)
Cirque du Freak (2009)
Daybreakers (2009)
The Dead Matter (2009)
Hello Darkness (2009)
High Midnight (2009)
The Informers (2009)
Jennifer's Body (2009)
Lesbian Vampire Killers (2009)
Live Girls (2009)
PCP... A VanGuard Chronicle (2009)
Priest (2009)
The Revenant (2009)
Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Undead (2009)
Sodium Babies (2009)
Suck (2009)
Twilight Watch (2009)
Underworld: Rise of the Lycans (2009)
Vampire in Vegas (2009)
Virulents (2009)

The Historian (2010)
The Knights Templar (2010)
Last Blood (2010)
Let the Right One In (U.S. Remake) (2010) Why do we need a remake?
New Moon (2010)
The Un-Dead (2010)

When you'e rich and famous, you can't look like an idiot...right?

2009-09-18T19:57:00.001-07:00

...guess not.

That hamburger I just ate.

2009-09-17T17:30:00.000-07:00

We're pleased to announce that WMTDS has a new writer, his name is Darryl and he is going to "kick it up a notch" around here as our resident food critic! Take it away Darryl...

Let's get one thing straight, I don't like doing food reviews but that dickweed boss here said that was the only job they had open.

I guess I'm going to review the hamburger I just ate. I don't remember where I got it, and there ain't a chance in hell I'm digging the wrapper out of the break room trash can. It smells like a small child died in there.
That hamburger tasted just like a hamburger should taste. DELICIOUS! First my teeth hit the bread and then there was mustard, some pickles, an onion, a cheese square and in the middle, a brownish beef patty which spat pink blood juice into my mouth as I broke it's tender outer membrane. I only wish I had found one of them arteries that occasionally get through the grinder intact. My hamburger was salty and chewy and made me remember why I love killing animals. They taste so damn good after you de-bone them, chop off there muscle parts and grind them into meat. If you don't eat cow meat you should. It tastes better than that tofukki all them nancy boys in Los Angeles eat! I might have to buy me a cow, chop him up and eat him this weekend. You should do the same and stop spending so much at Denny's you asshole.

Diane Birch Is My Birch.

2009-09-17T12:05:00.000-07:00

Ok...I'm in love again. Miley has proven herself to be a tart. D you Miley, you pole-dancing teenage tramp! Peddle your std-ridden wares at your grandma's trailer park!

But in this time of utter and complete heartbreak, I have found an angel. An angel with the voice of an...I have found an angel. Her name is Diane Lucrecia Birch. She dropped the Lucrecia to distance herself from her ethnic heritage, she's half Black Irish. But regardless of her checkered background, she sings like a bird with human vocal cords and a set of angel lungs. And she plays piano like a small man with 6 fingers on his left hand and up to 9 fingers on his right hand.

The album is called Bible Belt and it's very religious. The track 'Rise Up' is a plea to renounce God and enjoy life. The song 'ChooChoo' deals with the reality of burning in hell for eternity and how fun it will be. And then there's 'Forgiveness' which starts off with Hallelujah! I feel like I just went to church!

Todd's Take!

I love you Diane. I dream of giving you long, wet kisses on your Adam's apple. I want to serve you a large plate of linguine with basil marinade, topped with mouth-watering turkey-loaf balls filled with onion and cilantro flakes, and a side of Texas toast moistened with garlic butter. Please call me Daines! I will let you eat it the concoction off of my lower back like in the olden days. I'm a giving lover. Let's kiss!

Current Favorite Song.

2009-09-06T14:06:00.001-07:00

That Fat Bitch Was My Wife!

2009-09-05T19:14:00.000-07:00

THAT FAT TWO TIMING BITCH! Last night I got home late from work and logged onto my computer to check my email. I first found a very generous coupon from Border's Book Stores of America for their Labor Day Sale. Wow what a nice surprise! But then I found something that was not so nice indeed. My wife accidentally CC'd me on a series of sexually charged photos of her, our live in nurse Rosa, and my best little friend Ronald. Menage-a-what-the-hell?

I confronted my wife, but she tried to claim that Ronald had slipped her a roofie. I told her to take her Precious Moments collection and get the hell out! Just then I turned and saw Rosa climbing out the bathroom window and fleeing across the lawn in nothing but a thong and a cut-off t-shirt. Not too bad...if you're into medicine balls filled with cottage cheese. But that little bastard Ronald...I'm more disappointed in him than any one else. He told me that he didn't have any man-junk, but that even if he did, he'd never try to hook up with my wife or Rosa because he'd taken a vow of celibacy in honor of our friendship! He'd better hope I don't find him! I'm going by Wendy's tomorrow to see if he's man enough to face the music. If I see the top of his little hat running through the kitchen, its gonna be on!

Below I've attached the only picture clean enough for the internet.

Now I know what happened to my cap-gun! Damn you Ronald, you said we were BFE&Es!*

*BFE&E's = Best Friends Forever And Ever - Editor

Why?

2009-09-05T18:48:00.001-07:00

Last night I woke up from a very hard dream. In it, I met a young squirrel who could speak, but only in French. I searched the whole of the land looking for a current French/English dictionary. Finally I found one at a participating Rite Aid Superstore. And, after hours of decoding the mysterious young squirrels French-infused diatribe, I leered at my Big Chief Tablet and read aloud the quandary he posed to me. 'Why aren't there more songs about farting?' it read. "Exactly" I said to myself. Why didn't I think of that? And then I wept as the young squirrel became a beautiful butterfly and flew away. And I could swear that, as he disappeared over the horizon, I heard a tiny little butterfly fart. Thank you Mr. Sandman. May all of your dreams come true.

I Pledge to Be Mellow-dramatic and Preposterous

2009-09-05T10:13:00.001-07:00

I pledge to put my boot up the ass of any/every one of the morons in this video given the opportunity. Except Jason Batemen, because I think he's funny, and the chick at 1:50 because there are other things I'd rather do to her (if you get my drift) and, finally, the dickweed from the Chili Peppers because I wouldn't want to contract any STD's... plus he might enjoy it. What are you willing to pledge?

Protect your children.

2009-09-03T20:46:00.000-07:00

BTW, if you're a god lover like me, you need to check out these smoking hot PJs! They are GUARANTEED to insure your children a successful life.

Praise ye the lord...indeed.

Attention Comic Book Fans!

2009-09-01T21:35:00.000-07:00

Hey check out this new series of indie graphic novels. Looks promising. I'm going to get my hands on some copies and have the crew do some reviews. You might want to go grab some copies yourself...you know how these independent comics can be!

The Land of the Rats Store
The Land of the Rats Blog

Cinematic Titanic :: The Doomsday Machine

2009-08-26T14:43:00.000-07:00

Joel Hodgson, Trace Beaulieu, J Elvis Weinstein, Frank Conniff, Mary Jo Pehl and a real turd of a movie. What more could one ask for? Well maybe some pita chips and hummus, but that's cool. Let's review...

The last couple of years have brought us the return of Mystery Science Theater 3000 in the form of Cinematic Titanic and Rifftrax which a lot of people have boiled down to two opposing teams, The Joel Team vs. The Mike Team, as if it were a competition. I'm sure there's some good-natured rivalry there. But, in my opinion, there's really no need to have the Joel vs. Mike debate. It's apples and oranges. Like asking which is better, A1 or Heinz 57. They're both savory sauces, and quite delicious in their own right, but ultimately it just depends if you like it tangy or a tad sweet. Well as for me, I like both.

I guess the point I'm trying to make is that, like an open marriage, it's okay to love both Rifftrax and Cinematic Titanic, and I do. So tonight it was the Cinematic Titans, and together we watched The Doomsday Machine before they left me alone with my cat like so many women before them. But I digress.

I won't review The Doomsday Machine itself, as I don't like giving away plot points. (Although I didn't actually notice any, still I'm fairly certain there were some hiding in there somewhere.) What I do want to review is the Cinematic Titanic experience. And my review is going to be short and to the point. Cinematic Titanic is, at it's essence, the "Joel years" of MST3K and then some. Watching The Doomsday Machine (or any of the other Cinematic Titanic titles for that matter) is like sitting down to watch a z-grade movie with old friends. Old friends with PhD.'s in riffing mind you, but old friends none the less. Sure you might miss the 'bots, but that's just a testament to strangely familial feelings these guys elicit. In short, Cinematic Titanic is everything you would want it to be. It's MST3K v3.0.2* and I like it and, if you've read this far, I'm certain you'll like it too.

If you haven't seen a Cinematic Titanic flick, get The Doomsday Machine. Heck get them all! Buy 'em, watch 'em, and tell your friends about 'em. I bought mine from EZTakes.com because I have little patience (EZTakes offers immediate download) And, just for the record, I'm in no way affiliated with Cinematic Titanic, or EZtakes. I just want to keep them keeping me laughing. Werd up!

*In all fairness, Rifftrax was out first and has thus been designated MST3K v3.0.1 by our staff. - Tod

Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!: Season Three

2009-08-25T20:54:00.000-07:00

It's been a while, but we're back...kind of. Due to extenuating circumstances and the current financial climate, WMTDS has been forced to close it's offices in Los Angeles and New York =( But hey, that's what coffee shops with free wi-fi are for right? And sadly we had to scuttle our largely intern-based staff. Don't worry they're all receiving care packages. But enough about us and our woes, let's review some shit. How about Some T&E?

OMG it's season 3! What a great product. This ellaborate DVD box set includes every episode from the Tony Award winning third season of Tim And Eric Awesome Show, Great Job! Over 475 minutes of Tim Heidecker and Eric Wareheim doing what they do best...making me laugh, thus temporarily forgetting what a massive shit-nugget my life really is. Thanks Tim. And Eric thank you as well. If you don't own this collection, buy it. And while you're at it, go ahead and buy Season One & Two too. 'Cause let's face it, most likely your life is a gigantic turd as well. LET'S LAUGH!

Waiting For Miley.

2009-07-10T07:53:00.000-07:00

If we are lucky in this life we find someone we can't live without, someone who makes us whole, someone who makes all the pain that is life on this rock almost bearable. And if we are really lucky, that someone feels the same about us. Well I guess I'm lucky, because I've found that someone. For me, that search is over. And now I'm just waiting, waiting for that someone to see me the way I see her. I know her as Miley, but you probably know her by her actor name...Hannah. In just shy of a year and a half she'll be legal and then, if there's not some cruel twist of fate, we'll be together. Sure, she'll be older by then, but I can love her in spite of that. Maybe not for long, but I'll love her none the less.

Another One Bites The Lust.

2009-07-06T07:23:00.000-07:00

Only hours after posting my scorching expose on the Pitfalls of Christian Rock Music, I received a letter which saddened me deeply. I must admit even I was surprised at the complete and utter devastation that has befallen the writer. Here is her story, in her own words. Her Identity has been hidden for her safety:

"Father Keeble, I must thank you for your truthful words about Christian Rock and its unholiness. As a former member of Sonseed (I won't say who, but I am a guilty of my own shamefully seductive glance), I am quite saddened by all of the horrible innuendos I now see in this video - if you only know what went on behind the scenes! I had to be Zzzapped quite literally to get the raucous past out of my head. The drugs, the alcohol, the endless string of late night buffets. In dealing with said past, I have continued overeating to the point that I am now a strong contender for Dance Your A** Off season 2! (Provided they can cut a hole in my wall and extract me. Ala Hambone) Anyhoo, I just wanted to thank you and WMTDS for shining the light of truth on and my former bandmates and myself and our seedy behavior- no pun intended. Also, I pray that one day every voice I hear does not sound like that of a human cyborg. D YOU SONSEED!"~Love Anonymous

How a life can be so utterly destroyed is difficult to comprehend. But I say to you today only this, the hypnotic banging of drums, the demonic squeal of distorted guitars, the low rumblings of the electric bass, the otherworldly droning of modern synthesizer units, and screeching of loud voices will only lead your soul to one place, and there are not any pearly gates there. Lo, there is only suffering and fire...lots and lots of fire.

Caged Fightning is not for the skweemish!

2009-07-02T20:16:00.000-07:00

OML last night I saw a tv show that I will not soon forget watching. It was called United Fighting Cages of America or UFC for shoert. I did not believe my own eyes! Violence was everywhere. A man called Randy Couture put his fists all over anuther man's face until there was blood in his nose! Why Randy? Couldn't you just talk this one out? Bejamin Franklins once said "the first man to throw a punch is the first one who didn't have a good idea" also he said "Two birds in your hands is better than two birds in the bushes" and sadly, I agree.

What has our world come to that men will hit each other for moneys? When I was a boy I hit some other childrens and got in trouble. Now if I went and hit some childrens I guess I would get rich and fanous! Why didn't I think of that? Has our world became like that planet that Captain Kirk landed on that time when he had to Fight Dr, Spock with that metal pole? I hope not! Because I don't want to have to kill Andy or Father Keeble just so I can get rich do I? WTD? Mr Couture If you are listening please find a new thing to do for moneys. Because hitting is for baseballs not faces!!!! Shalom and peace be on us.

Go Doctor Spock!

Goodby King Jacksons! You sang so good!

2009-06-30T07:52:00.000-07:00

We the staff of WMTDS would like to apologize for not posting this weekend. Upon hearing of the death oF the King of Pop, We decided to hold vigil outside Neverland Ranch and report from there, but Andy forgot his Laptop computer. Good thing I had my new Digital Blue - Snap! 5.0-Megapixel Digital Camera from Best Buys! Mike didn't want to go, but I said he had to go for his job. Father Keeble brought a whole box of Jesus Juice and we slept in the WMTDS van. It was just like camp-outs my parents gave me as a child!

We stayed up all night the first night talking about our memories of Jacksons and singing our favorite songs on Andy's Karaoke Machine. What a night!! Father Keeble sang a tearmaking version of "You Are Not Alone" and then we had a short Bible study. When I woke up Sunday morning I saw Andy trying to scale the wall to get into Neverland. "Stop him!" I yelled. He was wrestled to the ground by security and put in handcuffs. Luckily Father Keeble was able to talk them into letting him go. After that we were asked to leave. Oh well it was fun while it lasted. Goodbye King Jacksons. I hope you are riding a ferris wheel wherever you are. Shamon!

UPDATE!!!!
Here is a beautiful tribute from Celine Dions for the King of Pop!

Images by Tod.

2009-06-24T12:17:00.000-07:00

Many peoples have asked to see a larger example of my works. And a quick reminder: Due to the recent economic downturn I have redused the price of a portrait image of you from me. Now I will paint you for just $1,745.00. Look above for a recent image I was comissioned to create. Guess who? Here's a hint, she is a verily fanus lady. Below is her image put to poetry...by me!

Please don't steal this image for your lady!

If She Didn't Want Me Looking In Her Window, Why Didn't She Fix That One Blind? by Stormcrow

2009-06-24T10:42:00.000-07:00

I can't go into too much detail due to some legal mumbo jumbo, but I have to ask you. If you didn't want people looking into your window, would you leave one of the slats on your mini-blinds kind of bent up where anyone could just climb through your hedges and look through?

Me neither! But that's what I was faced with last Thursday night while out for a late night stroll through my cousin's apartment complex. There I am just minding my own business, headed up to Citgo Xpress to get some Copenhagen and a Miller Lite, when I look over and see the faint shadow of what appears to be a legal aged woman motioning for me to come to her window. So I quietly climb through the hedges and see an opening in the blinds. Naturally I look to see what I can see, and to my surprise I see a beautiful young *(This portion of Mr. Cohen's account has been deleted due to ongoing litigation- WMTDS Legal Dept.)* ...because I'm in handcuffs in the back seat of a cop car waiting for my ride downtown. She won't even look at me!

Anyhow a few hours later, Tod comes down and posts bail for me and I go home and try to call *(This portion of Mr. Cohen's account has also been deleted due to ongoing litigation- WMTDS Legal Dept.)* ...but I don't think she has a foot to stand on! I'd try to go reason with her but her parents slapped a restraining order on me so fast my head spun. Nevertheless, she's working Tuesday night at the student union, so hopefully I'll get a chance to talk to her. I am prepared to offer her up to $250.00 and an iPod shuffle in recompense. I don't expect her to ask me to Sadie Hawkins, but I'm really tired of being made to feel like some kind of weirdo. You know what I mean?

Sings of the Apocalypse! by Father Keeble

2009-06-20T19:10:00.000-07:00

I am here today to address one of our nations most rapidly growing problems, "Christian Rock and Roll" music. As most of you already know, young people are flocking to it in droves, like lambs to a slaughter. It's touted as being an alternative to the more harmful secular brand of music populating the airwaves today. And this is precisely what's wrong with so called "Christian Rock". It is virtually indistinguishable from the satanic secular rock and roll that is corrupting our nations most vulnerable minds. It's loud, raucous, angry, and filled with subversive overtones. Below is a video by one of the hottest Christian "Rock and Rollers" in the last several years. They call themselves Sonseed. This is a group so vile in it's appearance and delivery that I shutter to feature their "music" here. And, if not for the souls literally hanging in the balance, indeed I would not. Take special note of the lascivious look given the viewer by the lead "singer" at around 1:13, followed almost immediately by backup "singer" Larry Phillips attempting to look down the blouse of his female cohort. Watch, but with extreme prayerfulness, the music video below. And then repent for what you've seen. Zzzap!

Hey Look At me I Have a Blueray DVD!!!! by Tod

2009-06-20T17:34:00.000-07:00

Wow, my bosses sure like me so much. Last night at the 25th Annual WMTDS employee appreciation dinner and dance, my lady boss, Mrs. Douglas, presented me with a "Good Time Achievement Award for Good Work" that was a BlueRay player and also a dvd of the movie Iron Mans. What a surprise! Thank you Lady Douglas.

First I can review the BlueRay player from the company Magnavox Brands. What a good machine! It is black and kind of square shaped and will accept up to one blueray disc at a times. The sticker on the box say the model is the "Refurbished".

Now on to the movie.

Now I will review the movie.

The movie I am reviewing is the DVD release of America's number one blockbuster IRON:MANS. Starring Morton Downey Jr., Gweenith Paltrow, Cuba Gooding Jr., (Wow lots of juniors!) and Yul Brenner as Iron Mongrel.

First let me say that the picture on this DVD is incredulous! You can see all of the details of the movie. One time I was looking a Toni Starks {SPOILER ALERT!!} who is also Iron Mans, and I thought I saw a booger on his nose. I laughed so much that I almost passed out! LMAO ROLF LOL! Then when {SPOILER ALERT!!} when Tony almost dies in a missile attack while serving his country in Iraq you see blood meat come out of his best friends head and it seems very realistic!! These are just one of the details you can see. I will not turn back from Blu-Ray now!

The movie itself is very good. I liked watching Tony Starks go from a poor soldier in Iraq to rich regular man in California. What a insperational story. Tony has a beautiful girl named Potsy Potts (Gweenith Platrow) who lives in his house. If I was Tony I would kiss Potsy Potts's neck late at night and see her without clothing. BUT TONY STARKS IS ONLY IN LOVE WITH HIMSELF!!!! This is a movie that I will see again and again. Buy a copy TODAY!!

Buy 4 copies of IronMans on blueray today and also buy the other Iron Mans as well as this handy IronMans childrens sized costume also for just $135.94 plus shipping and handling.

Get Ready to Receive! by Mike

2009-06-18T20:02:00.001-07:00

Hey friends and fans, we're getting ready for our first big give away here at wmtds, and we want you to be the first to win. You'll have to check back for the final details, but I'll give you a hint it's round and silverish and really funny! And all you have to do to win it, is write us a short letter about why you should win! Just be selfish, It pays!

Boycott This Summer's Sweatiest New Show! by Tod

2009-06-17T20:47:00.001-07:00

Wow was i suprised to hear about Oxygen Channel's new show Dance Your Fat Ass Off: Seasons One. This is very offensive and should not be taken lying down. I have a friend who has a lot of fat on her asshole and when she hears about this she too will be angry!!! We should not let such shows become true. WTD!!

To make matter worse, they've even hired a skinny model and put her in a huge fat suit to play the hostess. The Oxygen Channel should be ashamed! I won't watch more than a few episodes of "Ass" and will turn it off if any of my fat friends come over! This can show them!!

When will this country learn it is not fair to make fun of fatsos! They were bourne with feelings just like the rest of us. Sure, they might look funny, but we aren't supposed to look at them, let alone put them in front of a camera. My Grandfather always said "Never look a fat person in the eyes, they will sense your disdain and may become irritable."

I wish all of America could believe like I do about being kind to fat people. If you ever see a fat person in person just try to smile and say something nice to them. And try not to use hot words like porky, lard-ass, and plumper. These words are considered offensible by most fat people. Remember they have rights too. Boycott this horridble show before it's too late.

Below are some fats who were inspired by "Ass" to try their hand at dancing.

Apple to Announce 5 Terabyte iPod! by Mike

2009-06-15T19:20:00.000-07:00

Sources at Apple leaked the above press release to us today, officially making us the first to break the news of the iPod 5T, now the ultimate iPod! Five terabytes, a 4.5" plasma screen, and integrated Bose Dynamic Acoustic Simulation TM all for under 4k DAYUMM! And it only weighs 11 pounds. Gotsta haves it!

Gyllenhaal and Witherspoon enjoy some shopping in New York's trendy SoHo district. by Mike

2009-06-14T16:24:00.000-07:00

I'll make this short. Who gives a shit?

Or, let me put it this way, if I actually did care to know that, I would pull my car into my garage, close the garage door, and wait for death's sweet release. But hey, that's just me.

LEGAL ADDENDUM:
WMTDS is not suggesting, and is in not liable in any way for any action taken on the part of the reader. Additionally, if you are having thoughts of ending it all, please visit http://www.save.org/ and remember, we'd miss you on the hit counter. - WMTDS Legal Department & Staff

Hey That Caramel Macchiato Sucked!

2009-06-13T20:02:00.000-07:00

Today I went to the Starbuck Coffee Outlet Store across the street form the other Starbuck Coffee Outlet Store on the other side of the road and ordered a Starbuck Brand Caramel Flavored Macchiato Hot Drink from there drink menu. Now don't get me wrong, I am a strong fan of Caramel flavored drinks, and have only had 3 I ever didn't enjoy to the fullest!! But now my list is 4! Because my Starbuck Brand Caramel Flavored Macchiato Hot Drink tasted alot like a maggot infested pig anus that had spoiled and had been topped with Bleu Cheese from 1976 before being dunked in a septic tank filled with rotted corpses who had been fed soured meat products from animals who had died of serious infections! Don't get me wrong it wasn't the worst Caramel Flavored Drink I've ever had, but it was close...maybe a little too close. I don't suggest purchasing a Starbusck Brand Caramel Flavored Macchiato Hot Drink unless you're really hot and sweaty! That's a quick consumer tip from WMTDS!

On the plus side the biscotti was delectable.

One Night In Bangkok.

2009-06-13T18:27:00.000-07:00

Last night in Houston was so fun. I drove drunk all night and made sweet sweet whoopy with a female lady!! I lived lifes to the fullest and didn't look back! But a quick look forward at my facebook account harshed my buzz! I recieved an angry letter from a fan of WMTDS who seems to think I am a part of the international cover up of the death of Mr. David Carrandines. Here is the letter:

"I'm so angry with you right now! I do appreciate you posting an article of rock and roll GOD Brett Michaels but, you haven't said anything in memorial to martial arts Deity David Carradine! A source (of mine, who was) close to "Grasshopper" says he has definitive evidence to prove the actual events which took place that fateful night in Bangkok!" Love J

I understand the angryness of all of you out there who believe that Carrandines was killed. Contrary to J's source however, my sources tell me that this mystery is a global hot tomato that I should avoid. So here's what I can give you...A tribute to "Grasshopper" and a tip, leave this one alone J.

More Awesome Music News!

2009-06-11T18:46:00.000-07:00

Britain's Got Talent "second placer" Susan Boyle and Ukrainian Idol runner-up Bohuslav Yevheny announced plans for a world tour today at small press conference outside of Liverpool. Yevheny (speaking through an interpreter) declared " Not since my ancestors suffered at the hands of our Soviet oppressors has my family been so shamed. I shall redeem my name in the eyes of my forefathers before death comes to claim my filthy soul!"

While Boyle brought a decidedly lighter tone to the proceedings. "F--k any and everyone who voted for that bunch of limp-wristed dandies, (referring to the dance squad who took first place on BGT.) I've seen more talent floating in the loo after I dropped a shepherd's pie."

The team initially extended an invite to American Idol loser Adam Lambert, until hearing the news of his announcement earlier in the week that he was, in fact, gay.

"I sleep on my stomach due to a wound I suffered during the Orange Revolution of '04." said Yevheny. Adding "I also sleep nude. This temptation would surely prove too great for young Lambert."

Boyle concurred "I had me enough of them fancy boys during my time on Talent."

The 'UK meets the Ukray...n' tour is scheduled to begin next fall. Get your tickets now.

TGTTFIF!

2009-06-11T15:35:00.000-07:00

Thank God that tomorrow finally is Friday!! Tomorrow during the day I am traveling to Houston TX on the half of WMTDS and Fluffsandwich. But mainly I AM GOING TO PARTY HARTY!!. I have some cans of beer and I'm going to drink all of them! If you are going to be on the road tomorrow late at night look out!! Because I'm the dezignated driver and I'm going to be breaking all the rules ! I will be just like Scotland's number one bad boy Colon Ferrells. If you want to buy me a drink or purchase an signed 8.5" x 11" image of me! Meet me at the Pub Fictions Sports Bar and Grill between 9:30 and 11:00. I will be ready for partying!!

Death Stickers!

2009-06-10T20:49:00.000-07:00

I was driving to Dunking Donuts this morning to get a dozen donut holes, a jalepeno and ham ding dong, and a large glass of coffee when I looked up and saw that the car in front of me had a very sad stikker on the back window. In memory of... I couldn't stop thinking about the stikker all day until night. But more I couldn't stop thinking if somebody will put a stikker of me on their car when I die off. I can't think of a better way to keep someone in your heart than this. Now when I see old peopl I want to ask them "do you have your stikkers yet?" but they might be confused and attack me because they think I'm a mugger. No way I'm getting attacked by someone who has nothing to live for!

Get your death stikker now at: http://www.inmemorydecal.com/

It's Official! Andy's here to stay!

2009-06-10T20:24:00.000-07:00

GOOD NEWS! After a long and laborious contract negotiation, we are proud to announce that long time friend and contributor Andy Stormcrow Cohen is now a full-time writer for the WMTDS blog/website and a proud member of the Fluffsandwich.com family. Andy will be heading the east coast division as well as providing op-ed pieces. You can expect a letter from Andy in the next few days with his take on things! Additionally I have officially been named Editor in Chief after much handwringing around the WMTDS offices. Things are definitley moving in the right direction. YES!! Get ready for the best, because it's yet to come!

More sad celebrity news!

2009-06-10T13:07:00.000-07:00

I'm sad to report even more sad celebutante news this day. Earlier today I was informed that talks had ended regarding plans between Morgan Fox and myself to make an adult film together. After months of scripting, planning, and the purchased of an Aiptek A-HD 720P video recording camera, Foxx's camp repeatedly refused to accept my collect calls this morning. Below is an exerpt from my script: "In the Arms of a Stranger"

"They were as close as two people can be and still be alive. She was looking into his eye. He was weeping.

Morgan: What's wrong Tod?
Tod: Oh nothing. Why do you ask?
Morgan: Please tell me.

That is all I can post here. If you are a Hollywood producer looking for a proffesionally written story to film. Please contact me ASAP.

Also if you are in the market for a high end HD proffesional video camera also contact me. I must sell before my wife returns from her mother's house next Wednesday.

Please enjoiy this elegant tribute to the beautiful Morgan Foxx and look for her in the upcoming blockbuster Transformers II : Rise of the Silver Surfer.

Spears set to perform at Michaels Memorial Service!

2009-06-09T22:54:00.000-07:00

International celebrity and entrepreneur Britney Spears is set to perform at a special Memorial Service/Pancake Supper for fallen singer Brett Michaels. Organizers hope to raise enough money to buy up all known copies of Michaels' directorial debut 'A Letter from Death Row'.

"We feel it's time to bury 'Letter' as well, so that Brett can truly rest in peace and be remembered for his more legitimate efforts such as Rock of Love: Season 2" said an unnamed member of the memorial staff.

When asked why she had chosen to take a break from her world tour to perform for the fund raiser Spears answered, "I want to honor Brett by performing all my biggest hits and speaking about the troops...Brett loved the troops." Taking a quick break from sound-checking to grab a handful of pan sausage she added "I know he'd want it this way."

You can get a sneak peak at Spears set list below.

Brett Michaels Beheaded at 2009 Tony Awards!

2009-06-09T22:29:00.000-07:00

Last night I was watching the Tony awards and my 3rd favorite singer Brett Michaels of Dokken was beheaded, live on stage!! Lickily a bloated Reese Witherspoons began singing to distract the audience from mr. Michaels sad turn of events. I hope they save his hat for the Hall of fame! But not only did I lose a great friend and wonderful entertainer, but Tony Danza never even showed up to accept the award! Why does life give such hard blows?

Rifftrax DVD Bundle!

2009-06-08T19:48:00.000-07:00

Today I signed onto my hotmail account and recieved great news! Rifftrax is finally coming out on DVD! But the good news didn't stop there deepdiscount.com has them for preorder at a ridiculous price. I ordered my copy, go get yours now! BUT WAIT before you leave, read our reviews. And make Tod your friend.

Cinematic Titanic : The Oozing Skull

2009-06-08T18:06:00.000-07:00

I loved Mystery Science Theater 3000, still do. So I bought the Cinematic Titanic's "The Oozing Skull" for just $9.95 at EZtakes.com Let me tell you my friend's, MST3K is back and firing on all cylinders! Buy it, watch it, and tell your friends about it or better yet, buy them a copy and surprise 'em! And no, I don't have any finacial interest, I just want them to keep giving me something to laugh at.

Dookie on my shoe!

2009-06-08T12:57:00.001-07:00

Today I went out to eat and enjoyed a nice samdwich with a hand sqeezed lemonaide and a fresh side salad with Ranch Salad Topping. On my way out the door I stepped in a pile of dogmess. Why did someone do this act? Why ca'nt peeple scoop up there dookies? Now my new Air Jordans have to get cleened. If I get my hand on this dogs owner I will show him a thing or 2! IM AS MAD AS HELL AND I'M NOT GOING TO TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!!!!! >:( TTFN!

30 Rocks From the Sun.

2009-06-07T17:42:00.000-07:00

Wow I',m on a role! I just finished watching another movie. This won is called 30 ROCK and man was it long. I liked the movie but it was longer than The Lord's Rings. Over 5 hours and spread over 3 discs. Wow my eyes hurt! The hero is a lady and she is quite beautiful. She is trying to direct a good tv sitcom called Tracy's Place but the bad guy upstairs (the handsome man on the right) is trying to stop her! Also Tracy (the strange man on the left played by Martin of Martin) is also making her job hard. Lickily she has some allys who help her. If you have a dvd machine please buy this movie,,, you won't have guilt about it. Prepare to ROLF! and LOL!

Open mic night at the Meridian.

2009-06-07T14:16:00.000-07:00

Monday night is open mic night at The Meridian. Will I be strong enough as a man to rise to the stage? I look to Dan Johnson for insperation. Pray for me to have the strength to deliver my jokes! Hey why don't you come out and try your hand at standing comedy?

Paul Blart-Mall Cops.

2009-06-07T12:22:00.000-07:00

The night before today I watched the movie Paul Blart: mall cops. What a good movie! I laufghed so hard I sh-t my pants. Litterraly! Luckily it was a solid so I blamed my dog Lamar for the smells. He always stinks so I think my girlfrind Serah believed me. Now that was a close one! anyways after the movie I cleaned up with some Clorox brand wet wipes and me and Serah had a long discussion about whut we had seen. The movie Paul Blart: mall cops was really strong with deep thoughts. I woodn't advise watching Paul Blart: mall cops alone though. You might feel overwhelmed. But if you have a frind or two it will b fun! LOL! thums up for me. BUY IT!!!!

Welcome to the show.

2009-06-07T10:26:00.000-07:00

Hi, I'm Tod head writer for the soon-to-be internet sensation WHOMADETHATDIRTYSOUND.COM . Go ahead and check it out but don't judge it...it's not finished yet you asshole! I will be providing some good reviews and I am working on some comdy bits as well as a Mystery Science Theatre 3000 style movie riff you will laugh at. Anyways I hope you like what you see. It's a labor of love. While you wait for us to finish WMTDS here is a sad song for you.