Terminator Salvations

Wow what a grate movie, I just watched. It was Terminator Salvations IV starring Christian Bales of Batman fame. Move over The Dark Knight, you just got punked by John Connors. I couldn't believe my eyes as I watched this great Blu-ray release. What high definition!!!!! First there is a war and then there is another war right after that. All in HIGH DEFINITIONS!!!!!!!!!!!! I thin k if you liked enjoying TERminAtors number 1, number II, but not number three.......YOU WILL love This one!! Go John Connors. I did think there was going to be Linda Hamilton's knockers in this one, but instead there were no knockers at all. D you Director McG. D you to H!! I told my lady friend Tamara to get ready for sexual heat, but instead there was just robots and bloody murder. I had to rent a on-demand dirty movie to get Tamara in the mood for love. And that didn't work either. She said she had already seen Robot Shankers 12 and that it sucked. Thanks a lot Comcasts Television Entertainnment. YOu blew my sure thing straight to H. Can I have my 9.95 dollars back already. Well Tamara left and I didn't get to third base, but I saw a real good robot movie and then watched Terminator Salvations IV too, so lose-win-win. But Tamara is coming over Thursday so maybe I'll get to got to Third Base after all. I hope must see TV is dirty this week. See Terminator Salvations IV!! By a Blu-ray of it too. It's so good it only is missing some knockers! I'll be back.

Strawberry flavored sex panties.

Last night my girlfriend Sandra come home and says "I got something you can review on that there web space of yours." I said "What in the hell are you talking about?" She says "Lookie here." and then she proceeds to take down her work britches and shows me some kind of fruit roll up lookin' of panties she has on. She says " These here is eatable underpanties, the box says they's Strawberry flavored." So I says "Well tear me off a bite". She tears off a piece and hands it too me and let me tell you, I ain't never had no strawberry that tasted like that. I don't know what they's made of but I told her, I says "Them thing's is gone rotten, you need to get your money back asap!" She run outta the room a cryin' but I didn't chase her down. I done learned the hard way to let a woman cry that sh*t out. And anyhow I was right in the middle of a Grey's Anatomy I Tivoed. I got eyes for that ol' Kathrin Heigl and that oriental gal ain't to hard to look on either. My advice, avoid flavored panties.

Twilight: New Moon

I saw Twilight New Moon last night. It was awesome. The theater was filled beautiful young ladies. They were all so excited and talkative. I offered to buy one group pop corn and soda if they let me sit with them. They said YES!! I've never felt so alive.

Star Traks IV; The Wrathe Kahn + Special Blu-ray edition.

Hey you guys! It's been a while since I wroet a review. I almost forgot how! Well this night I'm reviewing the great film by the late Tim Burton...Star Traks IV; The Wrathe Kahn. The first thing I saw on this movie was a preview of the movie Star Traks 1. The early years. Did you know Captain Kirks was a juvinile deelinkwint? ME EITHER! But he was. He even drove a car off a cliff like Selma and Louise! WOW! what an asshole! So then they showed anuther preview for Star Traks the TV show version. You could see all the details in hi res def! Blu ray is the only way now! You should throw your old TVS into the trash can and go Blu!

The movie The Wrathe Kahn focuses on a old man with long hair and big boobies. He caused me to have strange feelings when he leaned over the ships console and one of his knockers popped out from his shirt vest. How didn't he have a bra on? Tune in Tokyo! I am going to get my girlfriend Sheila a grey haired wig for this weekend.

The movie was real good except for the confusing parts. There is a worm that like to hide in peoples ears and make them act up. And there are Two space ships and a man with elf ears who is not very friendlie. I don't know how it ended because my sister called to tell me the familys plans for Thanks Day, and Star Traks IV; The Wrathe Kahn ended during that. But I bet it was good. I have to bring a side for Thanks Day so I'm thinking about some creamy caseroles. I found an recipe on www.rachelrays.coms which looks pretty creamy. I would like to cook a meal with Rachel Rays in her warm kitchen. Our necks would come close as we prepared the clippings and soon our sweat droplets would become one as we made hot passion on the counter-tops. I think the casserole will be pleasing, but I will leave out the chicken. Chicken meat is too expensive , plus my cousin Larry is a Vegen. They don't eat animal meats or bird parts.

Well I hope you all have a good Thanks Day. If you get a chance wrent Star Traks IV; The Wrathe Kahn and see it. It's so good!

WTF?! You call that a Ham Sandwich?

I don't know what you interweb people think qualifies as a Ham Sandwich but apparently those p***ies at A*by's think three slices of Ham and a slice of Cheese served on some crusty white bread is all it takes. Not where I come from brother. You'd get your ass kicked trying to peddle that sh*t in my neck of the woods. I know city folk don't have the balls to eat pork anymore, but I ain't city folk. So if you see me coming through your doors and you have a Ham Sandwich on your menu, you'd better bring it. Or I'll leave a loaf on the hood of your managers car like I did last night at A*by's. I wish I could have seen her face when she saw my brown glory. But unfortunately I was at T*co B*ll refilling my bowels.

It's lonely up here.

Seriously.

Put A Stake in Her...She's Done!

Okay, enough with the vampire movies already and the once-alluring Megan Fox as well. One too many magazine covers declaring her the new 'bad girl' and an equally ridiculous number of interviews talking about what a nympho she is. What a joke. Everyone in Hollywood is dark and edgy and they shit gold and screw like rabbits. Please. MF's a bad girl just like Avril Lavigne used to be.

>>Check out Avril's new clothing line now available at Kohl's! <<
Don't get me wrong MF is a knockout, but once the mouth opens and the noise begins, it all melts away. To make matters worse, her 'acting' voice sounds like some 1940's starlet trying to seduce Clark Gable, that or she just really likes baby talk.

As for the movie, 'Jennifer's Body' looks like a Sci-Fi original mated with Twilight and some low-level pseudo-porn. The dialogue is so forced and contrived that it makes me wonder if Diablo Cody doesn't have a 13 year old ghost writer. It's 'Juno' with fangs. The only draw is all the little boys and girls hoping to get a gander at MF doing what she does best, acting slutty. And I stress the word 'acting'. I mean, it's obvious that she's a slut, but her hyper-sexuality is such a put on. That being said, she's more than welcome to drop by and prove me wrong...but no talky talky.

P.S. Here's an unofficial and incomplete list of vampire movies from last year to next:

Beyond the Rave (2008)
Blood on the Highway (2008)
The Kiss (2008)
L.A. Gothic (2008)
Let the Right One In (2008)
Lost Boys: The Tribe (2008-DVD only)
Out of the Night (2008)
True Blood (2008-HBO series)
Twilight (2008)
Zen in the Art of Slaying Vampires (2008)

The Bleeding (2009)
Blood: The Last Vampire (2009)
Castlevania (2009)
The Coffin (2009)
Cirque du Freak (2009)
Daybreakers (2009)
The Dead Matter (2009)
Hello Darkness (2009)
High Midnight (2009)
The Informers (2009)
Jennifer's Body (2009)
Lesbian Vampire Killers (2009)
Live Girls (2009)
PCP... A VanGuard Chronicle (2009)
Priest (2009)
The Revenant (2009)
Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Undead (2009)
Sodium Babies (2009)
Suck (2009)
Twilight Watch (2009)
Underworld: Rise of the Lycans (2009)
Vampire in Vegas (2009)
Virulents (2009)

The Historian (2010)
The Knights Templar (2010)
Last Blood (2010)
Let the Right One In (U.S. Remake) (2010) Why do we need a remake?
New Moon (2010)
The Un-Dead (2010)

When you'e rich and famous, you can't look like an idiot...right?

...guess not.

That hamburger I just ate.

We're pleased to announce that WMTDS has a new writer, his name is Darryl and he is going to "kick it up a notch" around here as our resident food critic! Take it away Darryl...

Let's get one thing straight, I don't like doing food reviews but that dickweed boss here said that was the only job they had open.

I guess I'm going to review the hamburger I just ate. I don't remember where I got it, and there ain't a chance in hell I'm digging the wrapper out of the break room trash can. It smells like a small child died in there.
That hamburger tasted just like a hamburger should taste. DELICIOUS! First my teeth hit the bread and then there was mustard, some pickles, an onion, a cheese square and in the middle, a brownish beef patty which spat pink blood juice into my mouth as I broke it's tender outer membrane. I only wish I had found one of them arteries that occasionally get through the grinder intact. My hamburger was salty and chewy and made me remember why I love killing animals. They taste so damn good after you de-bone them, chop off there muscle parts and grind them into meat. If you don't eat cow meat you should. It tastes better than that tofukki all them nancy boys in Los Angeles eat! I might have to buy me a cow, chop him up and eat him this weekend. You should do the same and stop spending so much at Denny's you asshole.

Diane Birch Is My Birch.

Ok...I'm in love again. Miley has proven herself to be a tart. D you Miley, you pole-dancing teenage tramp! Peddle your std-ridden wares at your grandma's trailer park!

But in this time of utter and complete heartbreak, I have found an angel. An angel with the voice of an...I have found an angel. Her name is Diane Lucrecia Birch. She dropped the Lucrecia to distance herself from her ethnic heritage, she's half Black Irish. But regardless of her checkered background, she sings like a bird with human vocal cords and a set of angel lungs. And she plays piano like a small man with 6 fingers on his left hand and up to 9 fingers on his right hand.

The album is called Bible Belt and it's very religious. The track 'Rise Up' is a plea to renounce God and enjoy life. The song 'ChooChoo' deals with the reality of burning in hell for eternity and how fun it will be. And then there's 'Forgiveness' which starts off with Hallelujah! I feel like I just went to church!

Todd's Take!

I love you Diane. I dream of giving you long, wet kisses on your Adam's apple. I want to serve you a large plate of linguine with basil marinade, topped with mouth-watering turkey-loaf balls filled with onion and cilantro flakes, and a side of Texas toast moistened with garlic butter. Please call me Daines! I will let you eat it the concoction off of my lower back like in the olden days. I'm a giving lover. Let's kiss!

Current Favorite Song.

That Fat Bitch Was My Wife!

THAT FAT TWO TIMING BITCH! Last night I got home late from work and logged onto my computer to check my email. I first found a very generous coupon from Border's Book Stores of America for their Labor Day Sale. Wow what a nice surprise! But then I found something that was not so nice indeed. My wife accidentally CC'd me on a series of sexually charged photos of her, our live in nurse Rosa, and my best little friend Ronald. Menage-a-what-the-hell?

I confronted my wife, but she tried to claim that Ronald had slipped her a roofie. I told her to take her Precious Moments collection and get the hell out! Just then I turned and saw Rosa climbing out the bathroom window and fleeing across the lawn in nothing but a thong and a cut-off t-shirt. Not too bad...if you're into medicine balls filled with cottage cheese. But that little bastard Ronald...I'm more disappointed in him than any one else. He told me that he didn't have any man-junk, but that even if he did, he'd never try to hook up with my wife or Rosa because he'd taken a vow of celibacy in honor of our friendship! He'd better hope I don't find him! I'm going by Wendy's tomorrow to see if he's man enough to face the music. If I see the top of his little hat running through the kitchen, its gonna be on!

Below I've attached the only picture clean enough for the internet.

Now I know what happened to my cap-gun! Damn you Ronald, you said we were BFE&Es!*

*BFE&E's = Best Friends Forever And Ever - Editor

Why?

Last night I woke up from a very hard dream. In it, I met a young squirrel who could speak, but only in French. I searched the whole of the land looking for a current French/English dictionary. Finally I found one at a participating Rite Aid Superstore. And, after hours of decoding the mysterious young squirrels French-infused diatribe, I leered at my Big Chief Tablet and read aloud the quandary he posed to me. 'Why aren't there more songs about farting?' it read. "Exactly" I said to myself. Why didn't I think of that? And then I wept as the young squirrel became a beautiful butterfly and flew away. And I could swear that, as he disappeared over the horizon, I heard a tiny little butterfly fart. Thank you Mr. Sandman. May all of your dreams come true.

I Pledge to Be Mellow-dramatic and Preposterous

I pledge to put my boot up the ass of any/every one of the morons in this video given the opportunity. Except Jason Batemen, because I think he's funny, and the chick at 1:50 because there are other things I'd rather do to her (if you get my drift) and, finally, the dickweed from the Chili Peppers because I wouldn't want to contract any STD's... plus he might enjoy it. What are you willing to pledge?

Protect your children.

BTW, if you're a god lover like me, you need to check out these smoking hot PJs! They are GUARANTEED to insure your children a successful life.

Praise ye the lord...indeed.

Attention Comic Book Fans!

Hey check out this new series of indie graphic novels. Looks promising. I'm going to get my hands on some copies and have the crew do some reviews. You might want to go grab some copies yourself...you know how these independent comics can be!

The Land of the Rats Store
The Land of the Rats Blog

Cinematic Titanic :: The Doomsday Machine

Joel Hodgson, Trace Beaulieu, J Elvis Weinstein, Frank Conniff, Mary Jo Pehl and a real turd of a movie. What more could one ask for? Well maybe some pita chips and hummus, but that's cool. Let's review...

The last couple of years have brought us the return of Mystery Science Theater 3000 in the form of Cinematic Titanic and Rifftrax which a lot of people have boiled down to two opposing teams, The Joel Team vs. The Mike Team, as if it were a competition. I'm sure there's some good-natured rivalry there. But, in my opinion, there's really no need to have the Joel vs. Mike debate. It's apples and oranges. Like asking which is better, A1 or Heinz 57. They're both savory sauces, and quite delicious in their own right, but ultimately it just depends if you like it tangy or a tad sweet. Well as for me, I like both.

I guess the point I'm trying to make is that, like an open marriage, it's okay to love both Rifftrax and Cinematic Titanic, and I do. So tonight it was the Cinematic Titans, and together we watched The Doomsday Machine before they left me alone with my cat like so many women before them. But I digress.

I won't review The Doomsday Machine itself, as I don't like giving away plot points. (Although I didn't actually notice any, still I'm fairly certain there were some hiding in there somewhere.) What I do want to review is the Cinematic Titanic experience. And my review is going to be short and to the point. Cinematic Titanic is, at it's essence, the "Joel years" of MST3K and then some. Watching The Doomsday Machine (or any of the other Cinematic Titanic titles for that matter) is like sitting down to watch a z-grade movie with old friends. Old friends with PhD.'s in riffing mind you, but old friends none the less. Sure you might miss the 'bots, but that's just a testament to strangely familial feelings these guys elicit. In short, Cinematic Titanic is everything you would want it to be. It's MST3K v3.0.2* and I like it and, if you've read this far, I'm certain you'll like it too.

If you haven't seen a Cinematic Titanic flick, get The Doomsday Machine. Heck get them all! Buy 'em, watch 'em, and tell your friends about 'em. I bought mine from EZTakes.com because I have little patience (EZTakes offers immediate download) And, just for the record, I'm in no way affiliated with Cinematic Titanic, or EZtakes. I just want to keep them keeping me laughing. Werd up!

*In all fairness, Rifftrax was out first and has thus been designated MST3K v3.0.1 by our staff. - Tod

Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!: Season Three

It's been a while, but we're back...kind of. Due to extenuating circumstances and the current financial climate, WMTDS has been forced to close it's offices in Los Angeles and New York =( But hey, that's what coffee shops with free wi-fi are for right? And sadly we had to scuttle our largely intern-based staff. Don't worry they're all receiving care packages. But enough about us and our woes, let's review some shit. How about Some T&E?

OMG it's season 3! What a great product. This ellaborate DVD box set includes every episode from the Tony Award winning third season of Tim And Eric Awesome Show, Great Job! Over 475 minutes of Tim Heidecker and Eric Wareheim doing what they do best...making me laugh, thus temporarily forgetting what a massive shit-nugget my life really is. Thanks Tim. And Eric thank you as well. If you don't own this collection, buy it. And while you're at it, go ahead and buy Season One & Two too. 'Cause let's face it, most likely your life is a gigantic turd as well. LET'S LAUGH!

Waiting For Miley.

If we are lucky in this life we find someone we can't live without, someone who makes us whole, someone who makes all the pain that is life on this rock almost bearable. And if we are really lucky, that someone feels the same about us. Well I guess I'm lucky, because I've found that someone. For me, that search is over. And now I'm just waiting, waiting for that someone to see me the way I see her. I know her as Miley, but you probably know her by her actor name...Hannah. In just shy of a year and a half she'll be legal and then, if there's not some cruel twist of fate, we'll be together. Sure, she'll be older by then, but I can love her in spite of that. Maybe not for long, but I'll love her none the less.

Another One Bites The Lust.

Only hours after posting my scorching expose on the Pitfalls of Christian Rock Music, I received a letter which saddened me deeply. I must admit even I was surprised at the complete and utter devastation that has befallen the writer. Here is her story, in her own words. Her Identity has been hidden for her safety:

"Father Keeble, I must thank you for your truthful words about Christian Rock and its unholiness. As a former member of Sonseed (I won't say who, but I am a guilty of my own shamefully seductive glance), I am quite saddened by all of the horrible innuendos I now see in this video - if you only know what went on behind the scenes! I had to be Zzzapped quite literally to get the raucous past out of my head. The drugs, the alcohol, the endless string of late night buffets. In dealing with said past, I have continued overeating to the point that I am now a strong contender for Dance Your A** Off season 2! (Provided they can cut a hole in my wall and extract me. Ala Hambone) Anyhoo, I just wanted to thank you and WMTDS for shining the light of truth on and my former bandmates and myself and our seedy behavior- no pun intended. Also, I pray that one day every voice I hear does not sound like that of a human cyborg. D YOU SONSEED!"~Love Anonymous

How a life can be so utterly destroyed is difficult to comprehend. But I say to you today only this, the hypnotic banging of drums, the demonic squeal of distorted guitars, the low rumblings of the electric bass, the otherworldly droning of modern synthesizer units, and screeching of loud voices will only lead your soul to one place, and there are not any pearly gates there. Lo, there is only suffering and fire...lots and lots of fire.

Caged Fightning is not for the skweemish!

OML last night I saw a tv show that I will not soon forget watching. It was called United Fighting Cages of America or UFC for shoert. I did not believe my own eyes! Violence was everywhere. A man called Randy Couture put his fists all over anuther man's face until there was blood in his nose! Why Randy? Couldn't you just talk this one out? Bejamin Franklins once said "the first man to throw a punch is the first one who didn't have a good idea" also he said "Two birds in your hands is better than two birds in the bushes" and sadly, I agree.

What has our world come to that men will hit each other for moneys? When I was a boy I hit some other childrens and got in trouble. Now if I went and hit some childrens I guess I would get rich and fanous! Why didn't I think of that? Has our world became like that planet that Captain Kirk landed on that time when he had to Fight Dr, Spock with that metal pole? I hope not! Because I don't want to have to kill Andy or Father Keeble just so I can get rich do I? WTD? Mr Couture If you are listening please find a new thing to do for moneys. Because hitting is for baseballs not faces!!!! Shalom and peace be on us.

Go Doctor Spock!

Goodby King Jacksons! You sang so good!

We the staff of WMTDS would like to apologize for not posting this weekend. Upon hearing of the death oF the King of Pop, We decided to hold vigil outside Neverland Ranch and report from there, but Andy forgot his Laptop computer. Good thing I had my new Digital Blue - Snap! 5.0-Megapixel Digital Camera from Best Buys! Mike didn't want to go, but I said he had to go for his job. Father Keeble brought a whole box of Jesus Juice and we slept in the WMTDS van. It was just like camp-outs my parents gave me as a child!

We stayed up all night the first night talking about our memories of Jacksons and singing our favorite songs on Andy's Karaoke Machine. What a night!! Father Keeble sang a tearmaking version of "You Are Not Alone" and then we had a short Bible study. When I woke up Sunday morning I saw Andy trying to scale the wall to get into Neverland. "Stop him!" I yelled. He was wrestled to the ground by security and put in handcuffs. Luckily Father Keeble was able to talk them into letting him go. After that we were asked to leave. Oh well it was fun while it lasted. Goodbye King Jacksons. I hope you are riding a ferris wheel wherever you are. Shamon!

UPDATE!!!!
Here is a beautiful tribute from Celine Dions for the King of Pop!

Images by Tod.

Many peoples have asked to see a larger example of my works. And a quick reminder: Due to the recent economic downturn I have redused the price of a portrait image of you from me. Now I will paint you for just $1,745.00. Look above for a recent image I was comissioned to create. Guess who? Here's a hint, she is a verily fanus lady. Below is her image put to poetry...by me!

Please don't steal this image for your lady!

If She Didn't Want Me Looking In Her Window, Why Didn't She Fix That One Blind? by Stormcrow

I can't go into too much detail due to some legal mumbo jumbo, but I have to ask you. If you didn't want people looking into your window, would you leave one of the slats on your mini-blinds kind of bent up where anyone could just climb through your hedges and look through?

Me neither! But that's what I was faced with last Thursday night while out for a late night stroll through my cousin's apartment complex. There I am just minding my own business, headed up to Citgo Xpress to get some Copenhagen and a Miller Lite, when I look over and see the faint shadow of what appears to be a legal aged woman motioning for me to come to her window. So I quietly climb through the hedges and see an opening in the blinds. Naturally I look to see what I can see, and to my surprise I see a beautiful young *(This portion of Mr. Cohen's account has been deleted due to ongoing litigation- WMTDS Legal Dept.)* ...because I'm in handcuffs in the back seat of a cop car waiting for my ride downtown. She won't even look at me!

Anyhow a few hours later, Tod comes down and posts bail for me and I go home and try to call *(This portion of Mr. Cohen's account has also been deleted due to ongoing litigation- WMTDS Legal Dept.)* ...but I don't think she has a foot to stand on! I'd try to go reason with her but her parents slapped a restraining order on me so fast my head spun. Nevertheless, she's working Tuesday night at the student union, so hopefully I'll get a chance to talk to her. I am prepared to offer her up to $250.00 and an iPod shuffle in recompense. I don't expect her to ask me to Sadie Hawkins, but I'm really tired of being made to feel like some kind of weirdo. You know what I mean?

Sings of the Apocalypse! by Father Keeble

I am here today to address one of our nations most rapidly growing problems, "Christian Rock and Roll" music. As most of you already know, young people are flocking to it in droves, like lambs to a slaughter. It's touted as being an alternative to the more harmful secular brand of music populating the airwaves today. And this is precisely what's wrong with so called "Christian Rock". It is virtually indistinguishable from the satanic secular rock and roll that is corrupting our nations most vulnerable minds. It's loud, raucous, angry, and filled with subversive overtones. Below is a video by one of the hottest Christian "Rock and Rollers" in the last several years. They call themselves Sonseed. This is a group so vile in it's appearance and delivery that I shutter to feature their "music" here. And, if not for the souls literally hanging in the balance, indeed I would not. Take special note of the lascivious look given the viewer by the lead "singer" at around 1:13, followed almost immediately by backup "singer" Larry Phillips attempting to look down the blouse of his female cohort. Watch, but with extreme prayerfulness, the music video below. And then repent for what you've seen. Zzzap!

Hey Look At me I Have a Blueray DVD!!!! by Tod

Wow, my bosses sure like me so much. Last night at the 25th Annual WMTDS employee appreciation dinner and dance, my lady boss, Mrs. Douglas, presented me with a "Good Time Achievement Award for Good Work" that was a BlueRay player and also a dvd of the movie Iron Mans. What a surprise! Thank you Lady Douglas.

First I can review the BlueRay player from the company Magnavox Brands. What a good machine! It is black and kind of square shaped and will accept up to one blueray disc at a times. The sticker on the box say the model is the "Refurbished".

Now on to the movie.

Now I will review the movie.

The movie I am reviewing is the DVD release of America's number one blockbuster IRON:MANS. Starring Morton Downey Jr., Gweenith Paltrow, Cuba Gooding Jr., (Wow lots of juniors!) and Yul Brenner as Iron Mongrel.

First let me say that the picture on this DVD is incredulous! You can see all of the details of the movie. One time I was looking a Toni Starks {SPOILER ALERT!!} who is also Iron Mans, and I thought I saw a booger on his nose. I laughed so much that I almost passed out! LMAO ROLF LOL! Then when {SPOILER ALERT!!} when Tony almost dies in a missile attack while serving his country in Iraq you see blood meat come out of his best friends head and it seems very realistic!! These are just one of the details you can see. I will not turn back from Blu-Ray now!

The movie itself is very good. I liked watching Tony Starks go from a poor soldier in Iraq to rich regular man in California. What a insperational story. Tony has a beautiful girl named Potsy Potts (Gweenith Platrow) who lives in his house. If I was Tony I would kiss Potsy Potts's neck late at night and see her without clothing. BUT TONY STARKS IS ONLY IN LOVE WITH HIMSELF!!!! This is a movie that I will see again and again. Buy a copy TODAY!!

Buy 4 copies of IronMans on blueray today and also buy the other Iron Mans as well as this handy IronMans childrens sized costume also for just $135.94 plus shipping and handling.

Get Ready to Receive! by Mike

Hey friends and fans, we're getting ready for our first big give away here at wmtds, and we want you to be the first to win. You'll have to check back for the final details, but I'll give you a hint it's round and silverish and really funny! And all you have to do to win it, is write us a short letter about why you should win! Just be selfish, It pays!

Boycott This Summer's Sweatiest New Show! by Tod

Wow was i suprised to hear about Oxygen Channel's new show Dance Your Fat Ass Off: Seasons One. This is very offensive and should not be taken lying down. I have a friend who has a lot of fat on her asshole and when she hears about this she too will be angry!!! We should not let such shows become true. WTD!!

To make matter worse, they've even hired a skinny model and put her in a huge fat suit to play the hostess. The Oxygen Channel should be ashamed! I won't watch more than a few episodes of "Ass" and will turn it off if any of my fat friends come over! This can show them!!

When will this country learn it is not fair to make fun of fatsos! They were bourne with feelings just like the rest of us. Sure, they might look funny, but we aren't supposed to look at them, let alone put them in front of a camera. My Grandfather always said "Never look a fat person in the eyes, they will sense your disdain and may become irritable."

I wish all of America could believe like I do about being kind to fat people. If you ever see a fat person in person just try to smile and say something nice to them. And try not to use hot words like porky, lard-ass, and plumper. These words are considered offensible by most fat people. Remember they have rights too. Boycott this horridble show before it's too late.

Below are some fats who were inspired by "Ass" to try their hand at dancing.

Apple to Announce 5 Terabyte iPod! by Mike

Sources at Apple leaked the above press release to us today, officially making us the first to break the news of the iPod 5T, now the ultimate iPod! Five terabytes, a 4.5" plasma screen, and integrated Bose Dynamic Acoustic Simulation TM all for under 4k DAYUMM! And it only weighs 11 pounds. Gotsta haves it!