Monday, February 1, 2010

"Win A Date With Todd" Canceled Due to FCC ruling.

Dear all fans. We are sorry to announce that the "Win A Date With Todd" e-raffle has been canceled due to an FCC ruling handed down this morning. An injunction filed in Louisiana's 5th circuit court of appeals last Friday on behalf of the FCC, has barred WMTDS from proceeding with plans to allow one lucky fan a night of hot passion with Todd of Todd's Reviews fame.

The winner was to be flown to Corpus Christi, where a private boat (chartered by WMTDS of North America LLC.) would then shuttle the winner and Todd into international waters for a sexually charged rendezvous after a 3 star meal including veal, focaccia loafs, and your choice of red or pink wine. Our attorneys are working with the State Dept. to find terms we can all agree with, they assure us that the contest will be allowed to go ahead very soon. We're doing everything we can. We'll keep you posted.

Hey look...another new post from Darryl right down there! ain't no Denny's.

I just went and ate at an ihop for the first time last night, and let me tell you one thing. IHOP ain't no Denny's! I asked for the Grand Slam and the waitress laughed so hard the broke wind. I decided after my experience to go on ahead and write me a one man play called "F**K IHOP!" Here's a sample from the first act.

Now you gotta picture this waitress, she looked like she just ate her own weight in pig scraps and washed it down with bacon grease. She had to butter her thighs to get into her XXXXL stretch pants. And her rear looked like a topographical map of the surface of the moon. You get what I'm saying...she was a fat pig.'s you a taste of "F**K IHOP!" by Darryl T. Evans

Act 1 Scene 2

Waitress: Welcome to the ihop I'm Sandra. What can I get for you tonight?
Me: I'll just have me a Grand Slam with a side of summer sausage and some extra grits.
Waitress: (Laughing like a morbidly obese hyena) We don't have no Grand Slam here.
Me: Well then, uh, I guess make it a Moon Over My Hammy.
Waitress: (Trying to stop laughing like a morbidly obese hyena) Ain't got that neither.
Me: Well then what the hell do you have?
Waitress: (Finally done laughing, but big blubbery gut still shaking) We got the Rooty Tooty Fresh N' Fruity and the Super Rooty Tooty Fresh N' Fruity.
Me: The what?
Waitress: The Rooty Tooty Fresh N' Fruity.
Me: What in the name of all that is good in the world is that?
Waitress: Well it comes with two pancakes with your choice of strawberry, apple-cinnamon or blueberry fruit jelly and whipping cream. Now the Super Rooty Tooty Fresh 'N Fruity also has eggs, bacon, sausage and hash browns.
Me: I don't know what you just said to me, but I'm about to haul my ass outta this sh*t-hole. I saw a dead raccoon on the side of the road about a mile back, I think I'll go eat that instead of the bunk you're peddling here.
Waitress: Good, get on outta here 'fore I call the law on you and your foul mouth.
Me: My mouth would only be foul if I shoved your feces-ridden tripe into it.

Well I think you get the general idea. The script is only about half done at the moment, but I'm planning on debuting it this spring. So check back for ticket information and what not.

Oh yeah...and F**K YOU IHOP!