Terminator Salvations

Wow what a grate movie, I just watched. It was Terminator Salvations IV starring Christian Bales of Batman fame. Move over The Dark Knight, you just got punked by John Connors. I couldn't believe my eyes as I watched this great Blu-ray release. What high definition!!!!! First there is a war and then there is another war right after that. All in HIGH DEFINITIONS!!!!!!!!!!!! I thin k if you liked enjoying TERminAtors number 1, number II, but not number three.......YOU WILL love This one!! Go John Connors. I did think there was going to be Linda Hamilton's knockers in this one, but instead there were no knockers at all. D you Director McG. D you to H!! I told my lady friend Tamara to get ready for sexual heat, but instead there was just robots and bloody murder. I had to rent a on-demand dirty movie to get Tamara in the mood for love. And that didn't work either. She said she had already seen Robot Shankers 12 and that it sucked. Thanks a lot Comcasts Television Entertainnment. YOu blew my sure thing straight to H. Can I have my 9.95 dollars back already. Well Tamara left and I didn't get to third base, but I saw a real good robot movie and then watched Terminator Salvations IV too, so lose-win-win. But Tamara is coming over Thursday so maybe I'll get to got to Third Base after all. I hope must see TV is dirty this week. See Terminator Salvations IV!! By a Blu-ray of it too. It's so good it only is missing some knockers! I'll be back.

Strawberry flavored sex panties.

Last night my girlfriend Sandra come home and says "I got something you can review on that there web space of yours." I said "What in the hell are you talking about?" She says "Lookie here." and then she proceeds to take down her work britches and shows me some kind of fruit roll up lookin' of panties she has on. She says " These here is eatable underpanties, the box says they's Strawberry flavored." So I says "Well tear me off a bite". She tears off a piece and hands it too me and let me tell you, I ain't never had no strawberry that tasted like that. I don't know what they's made of but I told her, I says "Them thing's is gone rotten, you need to get your money back asap!" She run outta the room a cryin' but I didn't chase her down. I done learned the hard way to let a woman cry that sh*t out. And anyhow I was right in the middle of a Grey's Anatomy I Tivoed. I got eyes for that ol' Kathrin Heigl and that oriental gal ain't to hard to look on either. My advice, avoid flavored panties.

Twilight: New Moon

I saw Twilight New Moon last night. It was awesome. The theater was filled beautiful young ladies. They were all so excited and talkative. I offered to buy one group pop corn and soda if they let me sit with them. They said YES!! I've never felt so alive.

Star Traks IV; The Wrathe Kahn + Special Blu-ray edition.

Hey you guys! It's been a while since I wroet a review. I almost forgot how! Well this night I'm reviewing the great film by the late Tim Burton...Star Traks IV; The Wrathe Kahn. The first thing I saw on this movie was a preview of the movie Star Traks 1. The early years. Did you know Captain Kirks was a juvinile deelinkwint? ME EITHER! But he was. He even drove a car off a cliff like Selma and Louise! WOW! what an asshole! So then they showed anuther preview for Star Traks the TV show version. You could see all the details in hi res def! Blu ray is the only way now! You should throw your old TVS into the trash can and go Blu!

The movie The Wrathe Kahn focuses on a old man with long hair and big boobies. He caused me to have strange feelings when he leaned over the ships console and one of his knockers popped out from his shirt vest. How didn't he have a bra on? Tune in Tokyo! I am going to get my girlfriend Sheila a grey haired wig for this weekend.

The movie was real good except for the confusing parts. There is a worm that like to hide in peoples ears and make them act up. And there are Two space ships and a man with elf ears who is not very friendlie. I don't know how it ended because my sister called to tell me the familys plans for Thanks Day, and Star Traks IV; The Wrathe Kahn ended during that. But I bet it was good. I have to bring a side for Thanks Day so I'm thinking about some creamy caseroles. I found an recipe on www.rachelrays.coms which looks pretty creamy. I would like to cook a meal with Rachel Rays in her warm kitchen. Our necks would come close as we prepared the clippings and soon our sweat droplets would become one as we made hot passion on the counter-tops. I think the casserole will be pleasing, but I will leave out the chicken. Chicken meat is too expensive , plus my cousin Larry is a Vegen. They don't eat animal meats or bird parts.

Well I hope you all have a good Thanks Day. If you get a chance wrent Star Traks IV; The Wrathe Kahn and see it. It's so good!

WTF?! You call that a Ham Sandwich?

I don't know what you interweb people think qualifies as a Ham Sandwich but apparently those p***ies at A*by's think three slices of Ham and a slice of Cheese served on some crusty white bread is all it takes. Not where I come from brother. You'd get your ass kicked trying to peddle that sh*t in my neck of the woods. I know city folk don't have the balls to eat pork anymore, but I ain't city folk. So if you see me coming through your doors and you have a Ham Sandwich on your menu, you'd better bring it. Or I'll leave a loaf on the hood of your managers car like I did last night at A*by's. I wish I could have seen her face when she saw my brown glory. But unfortunately I was at T*co B*ll refilling my bowels.

It's lonely up here.

Seriously.

Put A Stake in Her...She's Done!

Okay, enough with the vampire movies already and the once-alluring Megan Fox as well. One too many magazine covers declaring her the new 'bad girl' and an equally ridiculous number of interviews talking about what a nympho she is. What a joke. Everyone in Hollywood is dark and edgy and they shit gold and screw like rabbits. Please. MF's a bad girl just like Avril Lavigne used to be.

>>Check out Avril's new clothing line now available at Kohl's! <<
Don't get me wrong MF is a knockout, but once the mouth opens and the noise begins, it all melts away. To make matters worse, her 'acting' voice sounds like some 1940's starlet trying to seduce Clark Gable, that or she just really likes baby talk.

As for the movie, 'Jennifer's Body' looks like a Sci-Fi original mated with Twilight and some low-level pseudo-porn. The dialogue is so forced and contrived that it makes me wonder if Diablo Cody doesn't have a 13 year old ghost writer. It's 'Juno' with fangs. The only draw is all the little boys and girls hoping to get a gander at MF doing what she does best, acting slutty. And I stress the word 'acting'. I mean, it's obvious that she's a slut, but her hyper-sexuality is such a put on. That being said, she's more than welcome to drop by and prove me wrong...but no talky talky.

P.S. Here's an unofficial and incomplete list of vampire movies from last year to next:

Beyond the Rave (2008)
Blood on the Highway (2008)
The Kiss (2008)
L.A. Gothic (2008)
Let the Right One In (2008)
Lost Boys: The Tribe (2008-DVD only)
Out of the Night (2008)
True Blood (2008-HBO series)
Twilight (2008)
Zen in the Art of Slaying Vampires (2008)

The Bleeding (2009)
Blood: The Last Vampire (2009)
Castlevania (2009)
The Coffin (2009)
Cirque du Freak (2009)
Daybreakers (2009)
The Dead Matter (2009)
Hello Darkness (2009)
High Midnight (2009)
The Informers (2009)
Jennifer's Body (2009)
Lesbian Vampire Killers (2009)
Live Girls (2009)
PCP... A VanGuard Chronicle (2009)
Priest (2009)
The Revenant (2009)
Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Undead (2009)
Sodium Babies (2009)
Suck (2009)
Twilight Watch (2009)
Underworld: Rise of the Lycans (2009)
Vampire in Vegas (2009)
Virulents (2009)

The Historian (2010)
The Knights Templar (2010)
Last Blood (2010)
Let the Right One In (U.S. Remake) (2010) Why do we need a remake?
New Moon (2010)
The Un-Dead (2010)