2012: Then End of Times!

Wow! I just found out we only have two years left to live. WTD?! I rented the movie 2012s: Noah's Revenge this week from the popular dvd club Netflix this week! In this movie was Joan Cusacks, Manda Peets, Samuel Glover, and a poodle. What an eye opening movie this was. Apparently the Mayas got tired of making calendars and stopped at 2012, so the world is going to crack up and turn into water in two years. Good thing I saw this movie. I've started building my own ark so I wont have to fly to China and sneak onto the ones over there! If You didn't see 2012s yet. You should call Netflix and have it sent to you so you know what to expect. I watched it with my lady friend Sandra (Who also recently won the Best Buns Competition on our spring break related trip to Cleveland.) After words I loaned the disc WMTDS food critic Darryl T. Evans so he could watch it with his girlfriend Terry and her three children Jaden (10), Lexi (6), and Tanqueray (4). After words Darryl had a Q&A to help the kids deal with what they had saw. He recorded it and am posting the transcript here for you to share with you childrens too also:

Darryl: Okay kids, that's what we got to look forward to. Ya'll got you some questions?

Lexi: Why did all those people die Mr.Darryl?

Darryl: They died because they didn't have themselves a boat, and because they was athiests.

Jaden: We don't have a boat Mr.Darryl, are we gonna die too?

Darryl: I must admit, some of us in this room is gonna die, but I'm building a boat that will hold three or four of us.

Lexi: Who gets to go on the boat?

Darryl: Well your mother and I are in for sure...so that leaves room for one of you and maybe Tanqueray if he doesn't get fat like the two of you.

Lexi: Can't you just build a bigger boat.

Darryl: Well I could Lexi, if I was made of money. And plus it's a sh*tload of work building a boat and I still have to work over at the website to put food in your ungrateful little mouths.

Jaden: Well I'm gonna build my own boat and take Mommy and Lexi and Bubba and my real Daddy too.

Terri: Oh Jaden...

Darryl: Don't make me laugh Jaden. You can't even finish that video game your momma spent all of her tip money to get you for your birthday. You expect us to believe that you gonna finish a boat. (Laughing) Hell you and your boat'd sink faster than a fat lady tied to an engine block.

Jaden: I will build a boat! And it'll be bigger and better than your stupid boat. You'll see.

Terri: Jaden! Don't you talk to mama's boyfriend like that. I'm sorry Darryl. I knew I should've left him with his step daddy. The apple don't fall too far from the tree.

Darryl: You got that right baby. Jaden you just got yourself a demerit. And that puts you square in last place boy. You better nut up and shut up if you want on my ark boy.

Lexi: Mr. Darryl, can I bring Tabatha with me?

Darryl: Hell no we ain't bringing no dolls on my boat. Besides, you ain't gonna have time for playing make believe when the sh*t hits the fan baby.

Jaden: I hate you!

Darryl: Good, then the feeling is mutual. Oh, and that's another demerit. Keep it up and you'll be swimming with the heathens.

Terri: Jaden, apologize to Darryl right now or I'm calling your step daddy to come get you.

Jaden: I'm sorry.

Darryl: I'll bet you are - I'll bet you're real sorry-like. Alright, are we done here? I need to get your momma into the bedsack before I get too tired.

Terri: Darryl you are a naughty naughty boy.

Darryl: Baby, you ain't seen nothing yet. I borrowed my sister's credit card and ordered us a whole mess a' goodies off one of them online sex stores. You in for the best 2 month anniversary you ever did have.

The WMTDS censors won't allow us to post the rest of the transcript oh here due to sexually explicit materials.

Rent 2012's today and start beginning to get ready for the end of the worlds. Thumb's up!

"Win A Date With Todd" Canceled Due to FCC ruling.

Dear all fans. We are sorry to announce that the "Win A Date With Todd" e-raffle has been canceled due to an FCC ruling handed down this morning. An injunction filed in Louisiana's 5th circuit court of appeals last Friday on behalf of the FCC, has barred WMTDS from proceeding with plans to allow one lucky fan a night of hot passion with Todd of Todd's Reviews fame.

The winner was to be flown to Corpus Christi, where a private boat (chartered by WMTDS of North America LLC.) would then shuttle the winner and Todd into international waters for a sexually charged rendezvous after a 3 star meal including veal, focaccia loafs, and your choice of red or pink wine. Our attorneys are working with the State Dept. to find terms we can all agree with, they assure us that the contest will be allowed to go ahead very soon. We're doing everything we can. We'll keep you posted.


Hey look...another new post from Darryl right down there!

IHOP...it ain't no Denny's.

I just went and ate at an ihop for the first time last night, and let me tell you one thing. IHOP ain't no Denny's! I asked for the Grand Slam and the waitress laughed so hard the broke wind. I decided after my experience to go on ahead and write me a one man play called "F**K IHOP!" Here's a sample from the first act.

Now you gotta picture this waitress, she looked like she just ate her own weight in pig scraps and washed it down with bacon grease. She had to butter her thighs to get into her XXXXL stretch pants. And her rear looked like a topographical map of the surface of the moon. You get what I'm saying...she was a fat pig. Anyhow...here's you a taste of "F**K IHOP!" by Darryl T. Evans

Act 1 Scene 2

Waitress: Welcome to the ihop I'm Sandra. What can I get for you tonight?
Me: I'll just have me a Grand Slam with a side of summer sausage and some extra grits.
Waitress: (Laughing like a morbidly obese hyena) We don't have no Grand Slam here.
Me: Well then, uh, I guess make it a Moon Over My Hammy.
Waitress: (Trying to stop laughing like a morbidly obese hyena) Ain't got that neither.
Me: Well then what the hell do you have?
Waitress: (Finally done laughing, but big blubbery gut still shaking) We got the Rooty Tooty Fresh N' Fruity and the Super Rooty Tooty Fresh N' Fruity.
Me: The what?
Waitress: The Rooty Tooty Fresh N' Fruity.
Me: What in the name of all that is good in the world is that?
Waitress: Well it comes with two pancakes with your choice of strawberry, apple-cinnamon or blueberry fruit jelly and whipping cream. Now the Super Rooty Tooty Fresh 'N Fruity also has eggs, bacon, sausage and hash browns.
Me: I don't know what you just said to me, but I'm about to haul my ass outta this sh*t-hole. I saw a dead raccoon on the side of the road about a mile back, I think I'll go eat that instead of the bunk you're peddling here.
Waitress: Good, get on outta here 'fore I call the law on you and your foul mouth.
Me: My mouth would only be foul if I shoved your feces-ridden tripe into it.

Well I think you get the general idea. The script is only about half done at the moment, but I'm planning on debuting it this spring. So check back for ticket information and what not.

Oh yeah...and F**K YOU IHOP!

Terminator Salvations

Wow what a grate movie, I just watched. It was Terminator Salvations IV starring Christian Bales of Batman fame. Move over The Dark Knight, you just got punked by John Connors. I couldn't believe my eyes as I watched this great Blu-ray release. What high definition!!!!! First there is a war and then there is another war right after that. All in HIGH DEFINITIONS!!!!!!!!!!!! I thin k if you liked enjoying TERminAtors number 1, number II, but not number three.......YOU WILL love This one!! Go John Connors. I did think there was going to be Linda Hamilton's knockers in this one, but instead there were no knockers at all. D you Director McG. D you to H!! I told my lady friend Tamara to get ready for sexual heat, but instead there was just robots and bloody murder. I had to rent a on-demand dirty movie to get Tamara in the mood for love. And that didn't work either. She said she had already seen Robot Shankers 12 and that it sucked. Thanks a lot Comcasts Television Entertainnment. YOu blew my sure thing straight to H. Can I have my 9.95 dollars back already. Well Tamara left and I didn't get to third base, but I saw a real good robot movie and then watched Terminator Salvations IV too, so lose-win-win. But Tamara is coming over Thursday so maybe I'll get to got to Third Base after all. I hope must see TV is dirty this week. See Terminator Salvations IV!! By a Blu-ray of it too. It's so good it only is missing some knockers! I'll be back.

Strawberry flavored sex panties.

Last night my girlfriend Sandra come home and says "I got something you can review on that there web space of yours." I said "What in the hell are you talking about?" She says "Lookie here." and then she proceeds to take down her work britches and shows me some kind of fruit roll up lookin' of panties she has on. She says " These here is eatable underpanties, the box says they's Strawberry flavored." So I says "Well tear me off a bite". She tears off a piece and hands it too me and let me tell you, I ain't never had no strawberry that tasted like that. I don't know what they's made of but I told her, I says "Them thing's is gone rotten, you need to get your money back asap!" She run outta the room a cryin' but I didn't chase her down. I done learned the hard way to let a woman cry that sh*t out. And anyhow I was right in the middle of a Grey's Anatomy I Tivoed. I got eyes for that ol' Kathrin Heigl and that oriental gal ain't to hard to look on either. My advice, avoid flavored panties.

Twilight: New Moon

I saw Twilight New Moon last night. It was awesome. The theater was filled beautiful young ladies. They were all so excited and talkative. I offered to buy one group pop corn and soda if they let me sit with them. They said YES!! I've never felt so alive.

Star Traks IV; The Wrathe Kahn + Special Blu-ray edition.

Hey you guys! It's been a while since I wroet a review. I almost forgot how! Well this night I'm reviewing the great film by the late Tim Burton...Star Traks IV; The Wrathe Kahn. The first thing I saw on this movie was a preview of the movie Star Traks 1. The early years. Did you know Captain Kirks was a juvinile deelinkwint? ME EITHER! But he was. He even drove a car off a cliff like Selma and Louise! WOW! what an asshole! So then they showed anuther preview for Star Traks the TV show version. You could see all the details in hi res def! Blu ray is the only way now! You should throw your old TVS into the trash can and go Blu!

The movie The Wrathe Kahn focuses on a old man with long hair and big boobies. He caused me to have strange feelings when he leaned over the ships console and one of his knockers popped out from his shirt vest. How didn't he have a bra on? Tune in Tokyo! I am going to get my girlfriend Sheila a grey haired wig for this weekend.

The movie was real good except for the confusing parts. There is a worm that like to hide in peoples ears and make them act up. And there are Two space ships and a man with elf ears who is not very friendlie. I don't know how it ended because my sister called to tell me the familys plans for Thanks Day, and Star Traks IV; The Wrathe Kahn ended during that. But I bet it was good. I have to bring a side for Thanks Day so I'm thinking about some creamy caseroles. I found an recipe on www.rachelrays.coms which looks pretty creamy. I would like to cook a meal with Rachel Rays in her warm kitchen. Our necks would come close as we prepared the clippings and soon our sweat droplets would become one as we made hot passion on the counter-tops. I think the casserole will be pleasing, but I will leave out the chicken. Chicken meat is too expensive , plus my cousin Larry is a Vegen. They don't eat animal meats or bird parts.

Well I hope you all have a good Thanks Day. If you get a chance wrent Star Traks IV; The Wrathe Kahn and see it. It's so good!