And finally, I'd like to make a special apology to all of the parents for the "Eff Gonorrhea!" t-shirts I handed out on Saturday. I was very explicit with my printer that the shirts were to read "Don't Eff Gonorrhea!". I apologize for the mixed message this most certainly must have sent to your children.
This years event was an unprecedented hit! We raised nearly $135 to help combat this silent killer! Thanks for making it a success! Don't forget to collect that pledge money!
Anyhow, next years "Andy Cohen & Families Against Gonorrhea BBQ and Sack Race!" is already being planned and is scheduled for Saturday November 5, 2011. So get ready for a great time of food, fun, and fellowship!
Wow! What a terrifying movie i have just seen! it was a docudrama called Coaled Storage and it is also a scary romantic comedy about Clyve Mercer, a Greek Fishermen who, lives in Tennessees, his girlfriends Rosalee I and II and his friend Luther. As i watched this movie I felt very scared that i would someday find myself in the same shoes as Rosalee I, who was the lady who was visiting Clyves house before Luther invited her over for the sleepover that turned out so bad! If you ever see this movie make sure you sit on a trashbag or at least have someone with you, or you might acsidentally go weewee on your couch out of scaredness like I did! Now guess what? I have to pay Blackman Moreing Corporation of North America $75 just to make it smell like a regular couch again! Also I spilled some milk on it one time and it smelled like old cheese for a long time! See Coaled Storage Today!
We are sad to announce that our long time cleaning lady, and part time model Pearl has left Who Made That Dirty Sound to pursue a career cleaning stuff up in Heaven... we hope. Always there with a hateful diatribe or a harsh word for the staff, Pearl was very near and dear to our hearts. The world won't be the same without you Pearl. May your Judgment be swift and merciful.
I know this ain't no "food review" per say, but I gotta get this one off my chest - I don't know who the hell came up this "Bro's before Ho's" horsesh*t, but you can bet your asshole he ain't never had no woman bed down with him. Let me tell you something "Bro", if you think I'm gonna choose a bunch of hairy dudes sitting around talking about getting some tail over going home with a sweet little ho of my own and actually getting me some, well... you bout as stupid as you look. You "Bro's" can sit around and sniff each others farts all night for all I care, as for me, I'm gonna be going home with a real nice, supple piece of a and giving her what her daddy never gave her, if you take my meaning. So eat that "Bros", you bunch of limp-wristed Elton John wannabe's.
Caribbean drug kingpin Christopher "Dudus" Coke, escaped federal custody early Monday morning in Tampa, Florida only to be caught several hours later in West Palm Beach dressed in an even more elaborate disguise than the cross dressing inspired outfit he was wearing during his initial arrest late last June. An agent speaking to WMTDS east coast bureau chief Ted Randleman under the promise of anonymity said that "Dudus" was found at a public playground dressed in an pair of OshKoshB'Gosh® overalls, a child's hat from Baby Gap®.
"When I first saw him he reminded me of that little midget guy from that Wayan's brothers movie. Then I thought maybe he was one of those people that ages real fast or something." said Sandra Valdez of Tallahassee, adding "It's just scary to think that a drug lord was on the jungle gym with my son. I mean what is this world coming to when my own kid can't be safe from these kinds of a scumsbags?"
"Dudus" was returned to Tampa where he is awaiting trial. When he's not riding the "A-train", he enjoys playing shuffle board and breaking rule #2. Look it up.
We are sad to announce that our Editor and Head Writer Todd is currently in a stress induced coma, but resting well at the St. Joseph Celebrity Hospital in North Hollywood. Some of you may have noticed a lack of posting for the past several months, now you know why. We had hoped to keep Todd's condition under wraps, but after an emergency board meeting on Friday night at the temporary whomadethatdirtysound.com offices in Burbank, it was determined that, in the interest of full disclosure to our shareholders, the information could no longer be suppressed. We are asking all shareholders not to panic and sell, as we believe a miracle will be seen in the next 7 to 10 days.
We are holding a prayer vigil starting this Friday at the First Unitarian Church of the Holy Word in Fresno. The prayer vigil will lead up to a special service Saturday night where we believe that we will see Todd miraculously restored before your very eyes. St. Edward's Hospital has agreed to allow us to bring Todd's flaccid, vegetable-like body to the church for the miracle based service, featuring a touching rendition of "Piano Man'" by our very own Darryl T. Evans, and a premature eulogy by Andy Stormcrow Cohen. Tickets for the "Step Away From The Light And Come Back To Us Todd" - 2010 Miracle Service are on sale at participating Tom Thumb Grocery Outlets. Please join us for this special time of prayer and fellowship. Cookies and fruit punch will be served in the fellowship hall following the service. Selah.
Wow! I just found out we only have two years left to live. WTD?! I rented the movie 2012s: Noah's Revenge this week from the popular dvd club Netflix this week! In this movie was Joan Cusacks, Manda Peets, Samuel Glover, and a poodle. What an eye opening movie this was. Apparently the Mayas got tired of making calendars and stopped at 2012, so the world is going to crack up and turn into water in two years. Good thing I saw this movie. I've started building my own ark so I wont have to fly to China and sneak onto the ones over there! If You didn't see 2012s yet. You should call Netflix and have it sent to you so you know what to expect. I watched it with my lady friend Sandra (Who also recently won the Best Buns Competition on our spring break related trip to Cleveland.) After words I loaned the disc WMTDS food critic Darryl T. Evans so he could watch it with his girlfriend Terry and her three children Jaden (10), Lexi (6), and Tanqueray (4). After words Darryl had a Q&A to help the kids deal with what they had saw. He recorded it and am posting the transcript here for you to share with you childrens too also:
Darryl: Okay kids, that's what we got to look forward to. Ya'll got you some questions?
Lexi: Why did all those people die Mr.Darryl?
Darryl: They died because they didn't have themselves a boat, and because they was athiests.
Jaden: We don't have a boat Mr.Darryl, are we gonna die too?
Darryl: I must admit, some of us in this room is gonna die, but I'm building a boat that will hold three or four of us.
Lexi: Who gets to go on the boat?
Darryl: Well your mother and I are in for sure...so that leaves room for one of you and maybe Tanqueray if he doesn't get fat like the two of you.
Lexi: Can't you just build a bigger boat.
Darryl: Well I could Lexi, if I was made of money. And plus it's a sh*tload of work building a boat and I still have to work over at the website to put food in your ungrateful little mouths.
Jaden: Well I'm gonna build my own boat and take Mommy and Lexi and Bubba and my real Daddy too.
Terri: Oh Jaden...
Darryl: Don't make me laugh Jaden. You can't even finish that video game your momma spent all of her tip money to get you for your birthday. You expect us to believe that you gonna finish a boat. (Laughing) Hell you and your boat'd sink faster than a fat lady tied to an engine block.
Jaden: I will build a boat! And it'll be bigger and better than your stupid boat. You'll see.
Terri: Jaden! Don't you talk to mama's boyfriend like that. I'm sorry Darryl. I knew I should've left him with his step daddy. The apple don't fall too far from the tree.
Darryl: You got that right baby. Jaden you just got yourself a demerit. And that puts you square in last place boy. You better nut up and shut up if you want on my ark boy.
Lexi: Mr. Darryl, can I bring Tabatha with me?
Darryl: Hell no we ain't bringing no dolls on my boat. Besides, you ain't gonna have time for playing make believe when the sh*t hits the fan baby.
Jaden: I hate you!
Darryl: Good, then the feeling is mutual. Oh, and that's another demerit. Keep it up and you'll be swimming with the heathens.
Terri: Jaden, apologize to Darryl right now or I'm calling your step daddy to come get you.
Jaden: I'm sorry.
Darryl: I'll bet you are - I'll bet you're real sorry-like. Alright, are we done here? I need to get your momma into the bedsack before I get too tired.
Terri: Darryl you are a naughty naughty boy.
Darryl: Baby, you ain't seen nothing yet. I borrowed my sister's credit card and ordered us a whole mess a' goodies off one of them online sex stores. You in for the best 2 month anniversary you ever did have.
The WMTDS censors won't allow us to post the rest of the transcript oh here due to sexually explicit materials.
Rent 2012's today and start beginning to get ready for the end of the worlds. Thumb's up!
