THAT FAT TWO TIMING BITCH! Last night I got home late from work and logged onto my computer to check my email. I first found a very generous coupon from Border's Book Stores of America for their Labor Day Sale. Wow what a nice surprise! But then I found something that was not so nice indeed. My wife accidentally CC'd me on a series of sexually charged photos of her, our live in nurse Rosa, and my best little friend Ronald. Menage-a-what-the-hell?
I confronted my wife, but she tried to claim that Ronald had slipped her a roofie. I told her to take her Precious Moments collection and get the hell out! Just then I turned and saw Rosa climbing out the bathroom window and fleeing across the lawn in nothing but a thong and a cut-off t-shirt. Not too bad...if you're into medicine balls filled with cottage cheese. But that little bastard Ronald...I'm more disappointed in him than any one else. He told me that he didn't have any man-junk, but that even if he did, he'd never try to hook up with my wife or Rosa because he'd taken a vow of celibacy in honor of our friendship! He'd better hope I don't find him! I'm going by Wendy's tomorrow to see if he's man enough to face the music. If I see the top of his little hat running through the kitchen, its gonna be on!
Now I know what happened to my cap-gun! Damn you Ronald, you said we were BFE&Es!*
*BFE&E's = Best Friends Forever And Ever - Editor
I confronted my wife, but she tried to claim that Ronald had slipped her a roofie. I told her to take her Precious Moments collection and get the hell out! Just then I turned and saw Rosa climbing out the bathroom window and fleeing across the lawn in nothing but a thong and a cut-off t-shirt. Not too bad...if you're into medicine balls filled with cottage cheese. But that little bastard Ronald...I'm more disappointed in him than any one else. He told me that he didn't have any man-junk, but that even if he did, he'd never try to hook up with my wife or Rosa because he'd taken a vow of celibacy in honor of our friendship! He'd better hope I don't find him! I'm going by Wendy's tomorrow to see if he's man enough to face the music. If I see the top of his little hat running through the kitchen, its gonna be on!
Below I've attached the only picture clean enough for the internet.
Now I know what happened to my cap-gun! Damn you Ronald, you said we were BFE&Es!**BFE&E's = Best Friends Forever And Ever - Editor
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