Goodby King Jacksons! You sang so good!

We the staff of WMTDS would like to apologize for not posting this weekend. Upon hearing of the death oF the King of Pop, We decided to hold vigil outside Neverland Ranch and report from there, but Andy forgot his Laptop computer. Good thing I had my new Digital Blue - Snap! 5.0-Megapixel Digital Camera from Best Buys! Mike didn't want to go, but I said he had to go for his job. Father Keeble brought a whole box of Jesus Juice and we slept in the WMTDS van. It was just like camp-outs my parents gave me as a child!

We stayed up all night the first night talking about our memories of Jacksons and singing our favorite songs on Andy's Karaoke Machine. What a night!! Father Keeble sang a tearmaking version of "You Are Not Alone" and then we had a short Bible study. When I woke up Sunday morning I saw Andy trying to scale the wall to get into Neverland. "Stop him!" I yelled. He was wrestled to the ground by security and put in handcuffs. Luckily Father Keeble was able to talk them into letting him go. After that we were asked to leave. Oh well it was fun while it lasted. Goodbye King Jacksons. I hope you are riding a ferris wheel wherever you are. Shamon!

UPDATE!!!!
Here is a beautiful tribute from Celine Dions for the King of Pop!

Images by Tod.

Many peoples have asked to see a larger example of my works. And a quick reminder: Due to the recent economic downturn I have redused the price of a portrait image of you from me. Now I will paint you for just $1,745.00. Look above for a recent image I was comissioned to create. Guess who? Here's a hint, she is a verily fanus lady. Below is her image put to poetry...by me!

Please don't steal this image for your lady!

If She Didn't Want Me Looking In Her Window, Why Didn't She Fix That One Blind? by Stormcrow

I can't go into too much detail due to some legal mumbo jumbo, but I have to ask you. If you didn't want people looking into your window, would you leave one of the slats on your mini-blinds kind of bent up where anyone could just climb through your hedges and look through?

Me neither! But that's what I was faced with last Thursday night while out for a late night stroll through my cousin's apartment complex. There I am just minding my own business, headed up to Citgo Xpress to get some Copenhagen and a Miller Lite, when I look over and see the faint shadow of what appears to be a legal aged woman motioning for me to come to her window. So I quietly climb through the hedges and see an opening in the blinds. Naturally I look to see what I can see, and to my surprise I see a beautiful young *(This portion of Mr. Cohen's account has been deleted due to ongoing litigation- WMTDS Legal Dept.)* ...because I'm in handcuffs in the back seat of a cop car waiting for my ride downtown. She won't even look at me!

Anyhow a few hours later, Tod comes down and posts bail for me and I go home and try to call *(This portion of Mr. Cohen's account has also been deleted due to ongoing litigation- WMTDS Legal Dept.)* ...but I don't think she has a foot to stand on! I'd try to go reason with her but her parents slapped a restraining order on me so fast my head spun. Nevertheless, she's working Tuesday night at the student union, so hopefully I'll get a chance to talk to her. I am prepared to offer her up to $250.00 and an iPod shuffle in recompense. I don't expect her to ask me to Sadie Hawkins, but I'm really tired of being made to feel like some kind of weirdo. You know what I mean?

Sings of the Apocalypse! by Father Keeble

I am here today to address one of our nations most rapidly growing problems, "Christian Rock and Roll" music. As most of you already know, young people are flocking to it in droves, like lambs to a slaughter. It's touted as being an alternative to the more harmful secular brand of music populating the airwaves today. And this is precisely what's wrong with so called "Christian Rock". It is virtually indistinguishable from the satanic secular rock and roll that is corrupting our nations most vulnerable minds. It's loud, raucous, angry, and filled with subversive overtones. Below is a video by one of the hottest Christian "Rock and Rollers" in the last several years. They call themselves Sonseed. This is a group so vile in it's appearance and delivery that I shutter to feature their "music" here. And, if not for the souls literally hanging in the balance, indeed I would not. Take special note of the lascivious look given the viewer by the lead "singer" at around 1:13, followed almost immediately by backup "singer" Larry Phillips attempting to look down the blouse of his female cohort. Watch, but with extreme prayerfulness, the music video below. And then repent for what you've seen. Zzzap!

Hey Look At me I Have a Blueray DVD!!!! by Tod

Wow, my bosses sure like me so much. Last night at the 25th Annual WMTDS employee appreciation dinner and dance, my lady boss, Mrs. Douglas, presented me with a "Good Time Achievement Award for Good Work" that was a BlueRay player and also a dvd of the movie Iron Mans. What a surprise! Thank you Lady Douglas.

First I can review the BlueRay player from the company Magnavox Brands. What a good machine! It is black and kind of square shaped and will accept up to one blueray disc at a times. The sticker on the box say the model is the "Refurbished".

Now on to the movie.

Now I will review the movie.

The movie I am reviewing is the DVD release of America's number one blockbuster IRON:MANS. Starring Morton Downey Jr., Gweenith Paltrow, Cuba Gooding Jr., (Wow lots of juniors!) and Yul Brenner as Iron Mongrel.

First let me say that the picture on this DVD is incredulous! You can see all of the details of the movie. One time I was looking a Toni Starks {SPOILER ALERT!!} who is also Iron Mans, and I thought I saw a booger on his nose. I laughed so much that I almost passed out! LMAO ROLF LOL! Then when {SPOILER ALERT!!} when Tony almost dies in a missile attack while serving his country in Iraq you see blood meat come out of his best friends head and it seems very realistic!! These are just one of the details you can see. I will not turn back from Blu-Ray now!

The movie itself is very good. I liked watching Tony Starks go from a poor soldier in Iraq to rich regular man in California. What a insperational story. Tony has a beautiful girl named Potsy Potts (Gweenith Platrow) who lives in his house. If I was Tony I would kiss Potsy Potts's neck late at night and see her without clothing. BUT TONY STARKS IS ONLY IN LOVE WITH HIMSELF!!!! This is a movie that I will see again and again. Buy a copy TODAY!!

Buy 4 copies of IronMans on blueray today and also buy the other Iron Mans as well as this handy IronMans childrens sized costume also for just $135.94 plus shipping and handling.

Get Ready to Receive! by Mike

Hey friends and fans, we're getting ready for our first big give away here at wmtds, and we want you to be the first to win. You'll have to check back for the final details, but I'll give you a hint it's round and silverish and really funny! And all you have to do to win it, is write us a short letter about why you should win! Just be selfish, It pays!

Boycott This Summer's Sweatiest New Show! by Tod

Wow was i suprised to hear about Oxygen Channel's new show Dance Your Fat Ass Off: Seasons One. This is very offensive and should not be taken lying down. I have a friend who has a lot of fat on her asshole and when she hears about this she too will be angry!!! We should not let such shows become true. WTD!!

To make matter worse, they've even hired a skinny model and put her in a huge fat suit to play the hostess. The Oxygen Channel should be ashamed! I won't watch more than a few episodes of "Ass" and will turn it off if any of my fat friends come over! This can show them!!

When will this country learn it is not fair to make fun of fatsos! They were bourne with feelings just like the rest of us. Sure, they might look funny, but we aren't supposed to look at them, let alone put them in front of a camera. My Grandfather always said "Never look a fat person in the eyes, they will sense your disdain and may become irritable."

I wish all of America could believe like I do about being kind to fat people. If you ever see a fat person in person just try to smile and say something nice to them. And try not to use hot words like porky, lard-ass, and plumper. These words are considered offensible by most fat people. Remember they have rights too. Boycott this horridble show before it's too late.

Below are some fats who were inspired by "Ass" to try their hand at dancing.