Britain's Got Talent "second placer" Susan Boyle and Ukrainian Idol runner-up Bohuslav Yevheny announced plans for a world tour today at small press conference outside of Liverpool. Yevheny (speaking through an interpreter) declared " Not since my ancestors suffered at the hands of our Soviet oppressors has my family been so shamed. I shall redeem my name in the eyes of my forefathers before death comes to claim my filthy soul!"
While Boyle brought a decidedly lighter tone to the proceedings. "F--k any and everyone who voted for that bunch of limp-wristed dandies, (referring to the dance squad who took first place on BGT.) I've seen more talent floating in the loo after I dropped a shepherd's pie."
The team initially extended an invite to American Idol loser Adam Lambert, until hearing the news of his announcement earlier in the week that he was, in fact, gay.
"I sleep on my stomach due to a wound I suffered during the Orange Revolution of '04." said Yevheny. Adding "I also sleep nude. This temptation would surely prove too great for young Lambert."
Boyle concurred "I had me enough of them fancy boys during my time on Talent."
The 'UK meets the Ukray...n' tour is scheduled to begin next fall. Get your tickets now.
While Boyle brought a decidedly lighter tone to the proceedings. "F--k any and everyone who voted for that bunch of limp-wristed dandies, (referring to the dance squad who took first place on BGT.) I've seen more talent floating in the loo after I dropped a shepherd's pie."
The team initially extended an invite to American Idol loser Adam Lambert, until hearing the news of his announcement earlier in the week that he was, in fact, gay.
"I sleep on my stomach due to a wound I suffered during the Orange Revolution of '04." said Yevheny. Adding "I also sleep nude. This temptation would surely prove too great for young Lambert."
Boyle concurred "I had me enough of them fancy boys during my time on Talent."
The 'UK meets the Ukray...n' tour is scheduled to begin next fall. Get your tickets now.
Tod ~ PLEASE tell me where to get tickets to this wonderful venue! I am so excited to hear the beautiful music these two will make. I am sorry to hear that Adam will not be there, but Yevheny is indeed a beautiful man who would be hard to resist!
ReplyDeleteHey Mike - didn't mean to ignore you - great article!
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